21 birthdays

I have now celebrated 21 birthdays in my life. And this one was so much fun. I didn't do anything epic like go get drunk or sneak over the canadian border. (although we did talk about that one) But on my actual birthday i did almost nothing. I went to classes, saw my grandma and after LDV went to the blue bird with some friends. But it was wonderful.

Than last night I had my annual invite everyone i know over and make fried rice party. thats what i do for my birthday. and everyone thinks it's so weird that i feed everybody, but i get so much joy out of it.

First I found out that my friend Brad was coming up from Provo. I STARTED JUMPING UP AND DOWN WHEN HE TOLD ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i haven't seen him in so long and I couldn't wait. than i started making dinner. Jordan was the first to arrive, followed by kelton. And then Jon, and i think adam after that. I have so many guy friends, the only time they beat everyone is when your offering free food, which i was. I had so many guys there, i thought it was great. finally girls started showing up. MY OLD ROOMMATE RYLEE CAME AND SURPRISED ME!!!! i literally squealed and ran across the apartment full of people and practically jumped on her. i was so excited.

around 8:30 i finally let Rachel make one batch of rice, in the time it took her to make one, i probably could have made 2 or 3. but a lot of people were done eating by that point. so i went to socialize, i ended up in a cuddle thing with Landon a couple of times. but mostly we just chatted and it was fun. Arounf mid-night everyone decided they wanted to make a subway run, (there is a 24 hour subway down the street from where i live) i was told that i was coming. even though i didn't get anything, i had been coughing all day so my throat was really hurting.

but we get there and everyone keeps laughing and we're going for like 2 hours. I felt bad by the end, i was so tired. And when i get tired i go one of 2 ways really hyper or really grumpy and for some reason the grumpy was coming out, i think it's because it hurt my throat to much to laugh. so at one point i ended up separtating myself from the group, just kind of cause i knew i needed to cool off before i got angry for no reason and kill the fun. than i came home, cleaned a little bit and finally crashed around 3 in the morning.

but it really was a great birthday, i can't believe how many amazing friends I have. And all of them said they were having fun. and thats always what i want on my birthday, to be surrounded by good friends and good food. and if i can get all of them smiling, even better.

the shiny side of the new years coin.

Basically, I can probably guarantee that posts for awhile are going to be up and down. I'm not trying to get sympathy, but sometimes writing it out helps me focus.

but with everything bad we need a counter. For me to get back to normal I need to find balance. And it's something i am well aware is going to take the rest of my life, because once you get things in balance life will throw something else at you. every coin has 2 sides.

so a balance out for yesterday.

1.Getting to spend the afternoon with my cousins and grandma

2. macaroni salad.

3.My cousins daughter calling me aunt Mandy.

4. One of them telling me she wishes i was her sister.

5. a ride home from church.

6. Justin and Jenn coming to say hi.

7. chocolate.

8. having laundry money.

9. hot showers.

10. having those small moments of peace in the middle of trials.