So, as mentioned in an earlier post, I had surgery the week of Thanksgiving, so due to the number of pain killers I was one, I wasn't really inclined to write much of anything. And then life exploded and I forgot.
So, 24 Thanksgivings I've been alive, so 24 things I'm grateful for.
1. That my life seems to be falling into some sort of order.
My life has been crazy and emotional and just directionless for the last few years. And finally this year it seems like things are getting better, or at least more organized. I have an official major, I have good friends, a small but steady income, a social life, and a lot more self-respect/esteem/worth than I use too. (according to my friends). I am so far from having it figured out that it isn't even funny, but, I at least have it figured out a little.
2. My dear friends.
I have so many dear friends that I can't even count them. I am so grateful for them. They still love me when I'm crazy or emotional. And I love them so much.
3. My amazing roommates!!!!!
I have had a rough string of roommates and this year I have the most amazing ones. They are just amazing. We haven't had one fight all year. We legitimately care about each other. We laugh with each other, joke with each other, and help each other when we have miserable days. I just love these girls and I'm so sad that we won't get to be roommates next year. (ones getting married and the other is graduating)
4. My little old car that keeps plugging along.
My car hates me, and just wants me to let it die, but it keeps running, one way or another. It's the little Saturn that could. And while it's nothing special, it is mine and I'm grateful for it.
5. Maple Jams.
So, some friends in our building and I get together once or twice a month and we Jam. We invite friends, we bring food and for a few hours we just play music. We call it the "Maple Jam". And it is so much fun. I always bring my guitar but end up playing the egg shaker most of the night and singing. We have violins, piano, bass, guitar, kazoo, an African drum and ukulele that come every time. We do blues, modern, hymns, folk songs, and just anything anyone wants to play. Everyone else just starts making up parts along with it. It is so much fun to be back in a musical space where no one is judging or critiquing anyone and we are just having fun. If you try to harmonize and end up sounding tone deaf, no one cares. I just love having music back for no other reason than everyone there loves it.
6. An education.
I have definitely been getting an education. Yes, I have my formal education that I've been getting from Utah State. But, outside the classroom life has been giving me sooooooooooo much education. Life is always going to throw you curve balls, I'm glad I'm finally learning how to take thise curve balls as an opportunity to learn instead of letting them just hit me in the face for no reason.
7. Sunshine.
I can go about a week without the sun before it really starts messing with me. I love the sun.
8. Rain
I love the rain as much as the sun. It brings life and refreshes and smells amazing!
9. Transportation.
There are so many ways to get around it's incredible! Think about how amazing humans are! We got sick of walking, so we learned how to ride animals, we wanted to go faster so we invented the train, we wanted to go faster still so we invented the car. Was that fast enough? NO! So we invented the plane, which also helped replace boats, when it comes to international travel. I'm so glad we don't just have to walk, but that other options allow us to explore more of the world around us.
10. Family
As crazy and disfunctional as we can be, I'm stuck with them. So I love them. :)
11. Music
I don't know if there are enough words to express my love of music. No, I couldn't survive a music program, though I gave it my best. But that didn't stop me from loving it. From using it to feel things. Music is what emotions feel like. I struggle with emotions, I don't know how to process them, let alone show them. But music, that is where I can process and feel and share. Music has such a power to influence or accent how we feel. I am grateful everyday for music. Without it I would be lost.
12. Cooking
I love cooking. I love that (generally) it makes sense. I love that good food, good friends, and good conversation bring people together. I love that a good meal can make a bad day good. I love the smell of chocolate chip cookies and the face that people have when they are around it. I just love it.
13. TV.
I don't like to watch them endlessly, but sometimes you need to sit and veg and I'm glad that I can just put in a movie or tv show and escape reality for a little while.
14. Stories
We all have so many stories to tell, real and fictional. I love being able to hear and share them.
15. Gentleman
Yes, they do still exist. I know several of them. They walk me home. They open doors for me. They help me with dishes when I have them over. The will offer their seats. They will offer their coats. They treat me with respect. I know that for some stupid reason it is becoming unpopular to be a gentleman, but I am so grateful for every gentleman that I know, and if I am blessed with boys someday, I will teach them to be gentleman, with no shame or care for how the world views them. Because every woman, even if she doesn't act like it, deserves to be treated with sincere respect.
16. That I have learned from the Gentleman that I deserve respect.
This has taken far longer to accept than I care to respect. I have this habit of being "one of the guys" and as such, for many years theses gentleman I knew would still sometimes forget that I am also a girl and deserve the same respect they gave other women. (although, in their defense, I was really bad at accepting it.) Then all these other men started coming into my life that didn't care if I wanted to accept it or not, they were going to respect me and treat me like the lady they saw me (and all women) to be. I am very grateful for these men.
17. Blankets.
I love curling up in blankets at the end of a day. It's wonderful.
18. The Temple.
I had the opportunity to go through and receive my Endowment last month and it was wonderful. I just love the Temple. It is always beautiful and peaceful.
19. The seasons
Every season has it's own beauty, and I love them all! I struggle in summer, because I don't do well with heat, but I still love the vibe and beauty of summer. Early mornings and late nights, enjoying the cool weather. I love spring and how everything comes to life. I love playing in the snow and the joy of sipping hot chocolate after. I love the fall colors and refreshing crispness of the air.
20. The opportunity to work hard.
All the things that have been worth anything in my life don't come easy. I may not be as hard a worker as I wish I was, but I'm glad I've learned how to work harder than I use to. Hard work is so rewarding. You know you accomplished something. And then when the time comes that you have time to sit and watch tv, you don't feel guilty.
21. The people in my life that have been so kind to my younger brother.
My younger brother has aspergers, so he really struggles with social situations. He now lives next door to me just so I can kind of help keep an eye on him if anything goes drastically wrong. His roommates are wonderful. They are patient, kind and understanding. Others of my friends learned this and would go out of their way to be kind to him. Then, some of them took it a step further and sucked him into their little world of D&D, so now he leaves the house at least once or twice a week to go play with people. There are not words to express how grateful I am for this.
22. Chef Salad
I just love chef salads, I think they are so good. I just love them.
23. My ability to mostly function even when I haven't slept.
I have this problem where sometimes I don't sleep. It can cause one to be very tired. And while I will be tired the entire day after I haven't slept, and sometimes more, I can still seem to keep it together enough to function. I don't know how, and I don't enjoy trying to function while I'm that tired, but I'm glad I can do it.
24. That I am learning to be kinder, more grateful, more patient, more understanding, and just growing.
I am so far from perfect that it isn't even funny. But, I am so much more than I use to be. I don't blow up at the drop of a hat anymore. I'm learning to see all the little things to be grateful for everyday. I am learning more and more how to understand that where people come from and what they know is just as valid as mine and it makes up who they are. I am so glad that we are not meant to be stagnant, but constantly learning. It's a blessing to many people don't take advantage of.
So, 24 Thanksgivings I've been alive, so 24 things I'm grateful for.
1. That my life seems to be falling into some sort of order.
My life has been crazy and emotional and just directionless for the last few years. And finally this year it seems like things are getting better, or at least more organized. I have an official major, I have good friends, a small but steady income, a social life, and a lot more self-respect/esteem/worth than I use too. (according to my friends). I am so far from having it figured out that it isn't even funny, but, I at least have it figured out a little.
2. My dear friends.
I have so many dear friends that I can't even count them. I am so grateful for them. They still love me when I'm crazy or emotional. And I love them so much.
3. My amazing roommates!!!!!
I have had a rough string of roommates and this year I have the most amazing ones. They are just amazing. We haven't had one fight all year. We legitimately care about each other. We laugh with each other, joke with each other, and help each other when we have miserable days. I just love these girls and I'm so sad that we won't get to be roommates next year. (ones getting married and the other is graduating)
4. My little old car that keeps plugging along.
My car hates me, and just wants me to let it die, but it keeps running, one way or another. It's the little Saturn that could. And while it's nothing special, it is mine and I'm grateful for it.
5. Maple Jams.
So, some friends in our building and I get together once or twice a month and we Jam. We invite friends, we bring food and for a few hours we just play music. We call it the "Maple Jam". And it is so much fun. I always bring my guitar but end up playing the egg shaker most of the night and singing. We have violins, piano, bass, guitar, kazoo, an African drum and ukulele that come every time. We do blues, modern, hymns, folk songs, and just anything anyone wants to play. Everyone else just starts making up parts along with it. It is so much fun to be back in a musical space where no one is judging or critiquing anyone and we are just having fun. If you try to harmonize and end up sounding tone deaf, no one cares. I just love having music back for no other reason than everyone there loves it.
6. An education.
I have definitely been getting an education. Yes, I have my formal education that I've been getting from Utah State. But, outside the classroom life has been giving me sooooooooooo much education. Life is always going to throw you curve balls, I'm glad I'm finally learning how to take thise curve balls as an opportunity to learn instead of letting them just hit me in the face for no reason.
7. Sunshine.
I can go about a week without the sun before it really starts messing with me. I love the sun.
8. Rain
I love the rain as much as the sun. It brings life and refreshes and smells amazing!
9. Transportation.
There are so many ways to get around it's incredible! Think about how amazing humans are! We got sick of walking, so we learned how to ride animals, we wanted to go faster so we invented the train, we wanted to go faster still so we invented the car. Was that fast enough? NO! So we invented the plane, which also helped replace boats, when it comes to international travel. I'm so glad we don't just have to walk, but that other options allow us to explore more of the world around us.
10. Family
As crazy and disfunctional as we can be, I'm stuck with them. So I love them. :)
11. Music
I don't know if there are enough words to express my love of music. No, I couldn't survive a music program, though I gave it my best. But that didn't stop me from loving it. From using it to feel things. Music is what emotions feel like. I struggle with emotions, I don't know how to process them, let alone show them. But music, that is where I can process and feel and share. Music has such a power to influence or accent how we feel. I am grateful everyday for music. Without it I would be lost.
12. Cooking
I love cooking. I love that (generally) it makes sense. I love that good food, good friends, and good conversation bring people together. I love that a good meal can make a bad day good. I love the smell of chocolate chip cookies and the face that people have when they are around it. I just love it.
13. TV.
I don't like to watch them endlessly, but sometimes you need to sit and veg and I'm glad that I can just put in a movie or tv show and escape reality for a little while.
14. Stories
We all have so many stories to tell, real and fictional. I love being able to hear and share them.
15. Gentleman
Yes, they do still exist. I know several of them. They walk me home. They open doors for me. They help me with dishes when I have them over. The will offer their seats. They will offer their coats. They treat me with respect. I know that for some stupid reason it is becoming unpopular to be a gentleman, but I am so grateful for every gentleman that I know, and if I am blessed with boys someday, I will teach them to be gentleman, with no shame or care for how the world views them. Because every woman, even if she doesn't act like it, deserves to be treated with sincere respect.
16. That I have learned from the Gentleman that I deserve respect.
This has taken far longer to accept than I care to respect. I have this habit of being "one of the guys" and as such, for many years theses gentleman I knew would still sometimes forget that I am also a girl and deserve the same respect they gave other women. (although, in their defense, I was really bad at accepting it.) Then all these other men started coming into my life that didn't care if I wanted to accept it or not, they were going to respect me and treat me like the lady they saw me (and all women) to be. I am very grateful for these men.
17. Blankets.
I love curling up in blankets at the end of a day. It's wonderful.
18. The Temple.
I had the opportunity to go through and receive my Endowment last month and it was wonderful. I just love the Temple. It is always beautiful and peaceful.
19. The seasons
Every season has it's own beauty, and I love them all! I struggle in summer, because I don't do well with heat, but I still love the vibe and beauty of summer. Early mornings and late nights, enjoying the cool weather. I love spring and how everything comes to life. I love playing in the snow and the joy of sipping hot chocolate after. I love the fall colors and refreshing crispness of the air.
20. The opportunity to work hard.
All the things that have been worth anything in my life don't come easy. I may not be as hard a worker as I wish I was, but I'm glad I've learned how to work harder than I use to. Hard work is so rewarding. You know you accomplished something. And then when the time comes that you have time to sit and watch tv, you don't feel guilty.
21. The people in my life that have been so kind to my younger brother.
My younger brother has aspergers, so he really struggles with social situations. He now lives next door to me just so I can kind of help keep an eye on him if anything goes drastically wrong. His roommates are wonderful. They are patient, kind and understanding. Others of my friends learned this and would go out of their way to be kind to him. Then, some of them took it a step further and sucked him into their little world of D&D, so now he leaves the house at least once or twice a week to go play with people. There are not words to express how grateful I am for this.
22. Chef Salad
I just love chef salads, I think they are so good. I just love them.
23. My ability to mostly function even when I haven't slept.
I have this problem where sometimes I don't sleep. It can cause one to be very tired. And while I will be tired the entire day after I haven't slept, and sometimes more, I can still seem to keep it together enough to function. I don't know how, and I don't enjoy trying to function while I'm that tired, but I'm glad I can do it.
24. That I am learning to be kinder, more grateful, more patient, more understanding, and just growing.
I am so far from perfect that it isn't even funny. But, I am so much more than I use to be. I don't blow up at the drop of a hat anymore. I'm learning to see all the little things to be grateful for everyday. I am learning more and more how to understand that where people come from and what they know is just as valid as mine and it makes up who they are. I am so glad that we are not meant to be stagnant, but constantly learning. It's a blessing to many people don't take advantage of.
