I have two weeks of classes left...i already skipped grammar and institute today. (although, in my defense, my roommate really needed to vent because she was on the verge of a break down. I figured that was a little more important than institute.) and i'm not actually planning on going to my teaching literature class. although I am going to go to campus and work on my unit plan. And write a rough draft of a paper tonight. I hate writing analysis papers. they bore me.
I am trying to pass classes I promise. I just have a serious lack of motivation that i'm having an increasingly difficult time getting past.
I also have no idea what to get my family for Christmas. Especially the parental units. no idea. suggestions are welcomed and encouraged.
I'm really rambly today, but i'm trying to be better about blogging again. maybe it will help with writing. or just sorting out life. i like the sorting out life idea.
anyway. yeah.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Another year of thanks
As always, I must do the very cliche' but still sincere thankful post.
Things I am thankful for. (in no specific order)
1. Better friends than I deserve. They have helped me through a lot this year.
2. AMAZING ROOMMATES!
3. My family, despite all the fights we get into.
4. the opportunity to find out that i do not want to be an english teacher.
5. Chamber singers.
6. my calling as a relief society teacher.
7. A car that is somehow still working.
8. This learning how to be an adult thing.
9. perspective.
10. food.
11. the chance to go to China
12. The best summer job anybody could ever hope to have
13. Amazing co-workers and bosses at said job.
14. them letting me be pageant royalty.
15. The chance to eat dinner with Jim's family, and make cookies. and the conversation we had.
16. The Atonement
17. The incomprehensible love that the Lord has for us.
18. A new idea to work on writing.
19. A small Christmas tree for our front room
20. the internet
21. cell phones
22. indoor plumbing
23. patches (grandma's cat)
24. when gas prices go down
25. opportunities to serve others.
26. music
27. performing every now and then
28. chapstick
29. awesome landlords, and a great apartment
30. Surviving the last year.
This is a short list, but a very true one. I know it's a few days late, it happens. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Lets remember our thanks throughout the year. :)
Things I am thankful for. (in no specific order)
1. Better friends than I deserve. They have helped me through a lot this year.
2. AMAZING ROOMMATES!
3. My family, despite all the fights we get into.
4. the opportunity to find out that i do not want to be an english teacher.
5. Chamber singers.
6. my calling as a relief society teacher.
7. A car that is somehow still working.
8. This learning how to be an adult thing.
9. perspective.
10. food.
11. the chance to go to China
12. The best summer job anybody could ever hope to have
13. Amazing co-workers and bosses at said job.
14. them letting me be pageant royalty.
15. The chance to eat dinner with Jim's family, and make cookies. and the conversation we had.
16. The Atonement
17. The incomprehensible love that the Lord has for us.
18. A new idea to work on writing.
19. A small Christmas tree for our front room
20. the internet
21. cell phones
22. indoor plumbing
23. patches (grandma's cat)
24. when gas prices go down
25. opportunities to serve others.
26. music
27. performing every now and then
28. chapstick
29. awesome landlords, and a great apartment
30. Surviving the last year.
This is a short list, but a very true one. I know it's a few days late, it happens. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Lets remember our thanks throughout the year. :)
Saturday, November 10, 2012
thoughts
Sometimes, i really miss band. I went to a wind symphony concert last night and I remembered how much fun i use to have in band. I think my problem with life is i love to many things, i don't know how to get good at any of them.
I've played, oboe, cymbals, cowbell, violin, minimal piano and guitar, i sing, i've done theatre, i danced when i was younger. And i wasn't terrible at any of them. I wasn't always good, but i was never bad.
I wish there was a way to just combine all the things I've learned into a job of some kind. I believe that music and theatre will change the world. They speak to us in ways nothing else can.
I have had so much random experience, I can accomplish a lot of things, but I have no idea how to present to the world that I can do these things. I really like the idea of combining communications and music into a major, but I don't know how to do it. grrr.
i'm also really tired right now as I'm writing this, so it's a little over the place. I've been so tired the last week or so and the last 2 days i've had awesome headaches. i hate headaches.
but i'm getting my laundry done right now, thats a good thing...right?
I've played, oboe, cymbals, cowbell, violin, minimal piano and guitar, i sing, i've done theatre, i danced when i was younger. And i wasn't terrible at any of them. I wasn't always good, but i was never bad.
I wish there was a way to just combine all the things I've learned into a job of some kind. I believe that music and theatre will change the world. They speak to us in ways nothing else can.
I have had so much random experience, I can accomplish a lot of things, but I have no idea how to present to the world that I can do these things. I really like the idea of combining communications and music into a major, but I don't know how to do it. grrr.
i'm also really tired right now as I'm writing this, so it's a little over the place. I've been so tired the last week or so and the last 2 days i've had awesome headaches. i hate headaches.
but i'm getting my laundry done right now, thats a good thing...right?
Friday, November 2, 2012
random ramblings that are of no great consequence.
This is me paying attention in my grammar class. Actually, she has finished the lecture, and we are suppose to be using this time to work on a quiz...i'm a lot behind in this class.
I don't try to be a bad student. I don't try to be stupid. I just don't care about this class. I don't care about any of my classes, quite frankly. I don't want to go anymore.
I know I need to pick a new major. I get that. I need something to be excited about with school. But does anyone know how hard that actually is? I don't want to pick something new to fall in love with just to watch it get taken away from me again.
I know, I know. "you just have to learn to trust that it won't. You can't give up before you start or you'll never get it" I understand that.
you try it.
I know a lot of people have it worse than me. I know it's not suppose to be easy. But when life keeps turning out the same no matter how hard you try to make it different, it's hard to believe that it ever will be different.
I really don't like thinking that way.
I wish I was a good student. I really wish I was. I've never learned how to study though. I've always been able to get by, honestly, by completely BSing my homework. I've never been able to figure out when I get homework done, or how I pass. In high school I literally didn't try. And I got mostly A's and B's. Same thing happened when I go to college. I faked my way through a lot, and I got decent grades. Yeah, i didn't learn as much as the other students. But i've never been very book smart anyway.
In fact, I hate school. I just hate being in school. I'm a hard worker, why can't I learn on the job? I know why, i really do. I'm just sick of feeling stupid after class every single day of my life.
I didn't mean for this to be a downer post today. I really didn't. ugh. I really am trying to be happier in life. I promise. I'm trying to take care of it. It is so much easier said than done.
I'm just trying to learn how to breathe underwater.
I don't try to be a bad student. I don't try to be stupid. I just don't care about this class. I don't care about any of my classes, quite frankly. I don't want to go anymore.
I know I need to pick a new major. I get that. I need something to be excited about with school. But does anyone know how hard that actually is? I don't want to pick something new to fall in love with just to watch it get taken away from me again.
I know, I know. "you just have to learn to trust that it won't. You can't give up before you start or you'll never get it" I understand that.
you try it.
I know a lot of people have it worse than me. I know it's not suppose to be easy. But when life keeps turning out the same no matter how hard you try to make it different, it's hard to believe that it ever will be different.
I really don't like thinking that way.
I wish I was a good student. I really wish I was. I've never learned how to study though. I've always been able to get by, honestly, by completely BSing my homework. I've never been able to figure out when I get homework done, or how I pass. In high school I literally didn't try. And I got mostly A's and B's. Same thing happened when I go to college. I faked my way through a lot, and I got decent grades. Yeah, i didn't learn as much as the other students. But i've never been very book smart anyway.
In fact, I hate school. I just hate being in school. I'm a hard worker, why can't I learn on the job? I know why, i really do. I'm just sick of feeling stupid after class every single day of my life.
I didn't mean for this to be a downer post today. I really didn't. ugh. I really am trying to be happier in life. I promise. I'm trying to take care of it. It is so much easier said than done.
I'm just trying to learn how to breathe underwater.
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