week long run away.

Saturday, get off work and head to Kelsies, spend weekend there. Sunday help her teach the five year old primary class. Monday she drops me off at Mikes and we get ready to head out to St. George for a week of camping.

so lets start with Monday.

Like i said, i get up early and we head out to Mikes where a group of us is meeting up to head down to St. George. Me and Kelsie are the first ones there. (she isn't going with us she was just giving me a ride) We get there and I start getting my stuff out of her trunk and Mikes mom (who is a very nice lady) comes out and tells us that she has taco soup inside for all of us and Kelsie is more than welcome (as in she IS staying) to have some as well. So we walk in the door and immediatly know where Mike is (there was electric guitar sounds coming from downstairs) So we start dishing up soup and Mikes mom gets her husband and gets Mike and we start eating lunch. After that we play about 3 songs of "just dance" on the wii when Kelsie is able to make her escape. (she needed to drive back up to Layton) So me and Mike play a couple rounds of Mario Kart when he gets a phone call from Kylie and the rest of everyone is (besides 2 people we are meeting in Lehi) almost there. So they get there and we start loading up the van (mikes parents are letting us borrow it) and then they all start eating, well Mikes mom also had gotten stuff so we could have lunches when we get down there. So I help her make sandwhiches while everyone else is eating taco soup. Then we finally are ready and head out.

We meet up with joe and Andrew and everyone has figured out which car they are in, everything is loaded and we head south toward the warmth. In the mini van is Me, Mike, Chris and Rylee....and nine peoples worth of camping stuff. Chris and Rylee are sleeping and me and Mike chat and listen to music. Although the further south we go the more we still see snow, which was very depressing. It was also raining a lot out side and slushing in a couple parts of life. But when we get to Quail creek it had stopped raining. So we set up camp, start playing and then make a Wally world run so we can get lunches and breakfasts. Then back to camp to make dinners (we were making dinners together and lunches and breakfasts on our own) Monday night we had spaghetti and by the time it was ready it was dark outside. ALSO, one thing i learned on this trip...you really can't roast a marshmallow peep, it really doesn't work out well.
Then we attempted to play games in the boy tents, but it really didn't work out. So we all headed to bed.

sleeping at night was FREEZING COLD!!!!! Monday night was the coldest night and it was freezing.

Tuesday morning i was the second one up and i got up to the sunrise which was gorgeous. Mike was the one up before me. So me and him chat for a little while and everyone else starts waking up about an hour - 2 hours later. than we all eat breakfast and pack up to head to Zions. Well...Kristi was taking some trash the dumpster and we decided to grab it from her while we were in the van. So i roll down the window and grab it...The window didn't roll back up. The switch had broken. So instead of going straight to Zions, we hang out at a church building while Mike goes and gets the van fixed. Then we drive to Zions, just outside we pull into another church parking lot and all pile into the mini van (with 2 people in the trunk) and head into Zions. (we didn't want to pay for 2 cars and the gas for 2 cars around Zions) We took it easy that day because we got started later in the day. We hiked up to Canyon overlook and the view was incredible. I took some pictures, we ate lunches and the climbed and scampered around for the next few hours. And I got higher than i ever thought that I could. AND managed to get back down in one piece. Then we headed back to camp and start chili.

I don't actually like chili...so i ate one of my lunches and everyone felt bad. but i didn't really care. We roasted marshamallows and chatted around the fire then Mike came into our tent when the fire was going out and we all chatted for awhile. When he was starting to fall asleep he went back to the boys tent and so did chris, Megan came back to ours. and we all fell asleep. (real quick, everyone on this trip is Me, Mike, Chris, Rylee, Kristi, kylie, Megan , Joe, and Andrew)

Tuesday night was also a very very cold night.

Wednesday morning I'm the first one awake. And i go sit on the dock for awhile. Then there was the great debate. Do we go back to Zions or just play around the campsite. We decided both. Those who wanted to stay stayed and those who wanted to go Hike went and hiked. So me, Mike, Chris, Rylee and Kylie go to Zions. We hiked emerald pools, found a cave, and hiked weepeing rock. We stopped at some gift shops and Chris bought an ostrich egg. (some guy outside Zions raises ostriches) We get back to camp and i'm wiped out ( i really hadn't slept well for like four days) and my back was really really hurting. (and only got worse as the night went on) We have dutch oven for dinner, which was great fun and way good. And then we all end up in the girls tent to play scum. (except me. My back was hurting so much that i couldn't really sit up anymore, it didn't want to support me. And i knew lying down i would be in and out of sleeping. So i didn't play)

Wednesday night was less cold and i switched mny sleeping postition so that all of us had more room.

Thursday was Angels landing.

I got up before everyone again and watched teh sunrise (i took a picture of the sunrise everyday) we made lunches and we headed out to Zions to Hike Angels Landing. I was determined to make it to the top this year. Basically how angels landing works is you Hike walters Wiggles 2 miles up to the base of angels landing (a series of switchbacks that are a royal pain in the butt to hike up) Then you have Angels Landing; where you have chains, cliff, 3000ft drop. Probably not the brightest idea in the world to hike up it. But we did it anyway. So i tell everyone not to wait for me, i'll get there eventually. (which was good that no one waited for me, because i don't think i would have made it up. I would have quit and been angry at myself for another year. So i go, and there were spots i wanted to quit and go back, but i managed to pull myself together and always a kind stranger would come along and help at the spots where i really just couldn't figure it out. As I'm almost to the top i see everyone else in my group coming back down. That was actually the hardest part for me, i didn't tell any of them this. But i really just wanted to be in the group picture on top of Angels Landing, but by the time i got there they had turned back. So i hurry up to the very top, look out take a picture by myself and head back down. Up there for less than five minutes. And everyone was ahead of me, and they had my lunch. They had all eaten by the time i got there. I thought that they were going to wait at the base of Angels. But by the time i got there they had headed back down to the car. So they were all about 2 miles ahead of me.

i don't think i'll probably ever do Angels Landing again. I've made it to the top now and it pretty much got the rest of my nerves. Plus (mom, don't yell at me) there was a bunch of snow near the top that was actually kinda slick and slightly terrifying to go up. Especially at the one spot where there was no chains, only rocks and some trees. And anytime of the year that i could make it there will probably be snow at the top, i don't think i could handle the heat of hiking it any other time of year.

Then we get back to camp and eat hot dogs for dinner and play scum again. Chat for awhile and head to bed.

Thursday night was the warmest night, but i kept getting kicked, so i really didn't sleep well.

Friday we get up and load up camp. Then play for a couple hours before heading home. We stop in Cedar for lunch so i can see Kim and meet her boyfriend. So far i like him, but i don't give approvals out as fast as i use to. Then the long drive back to Sandy where Mikes mom had dinner waiting for us. Then to Salt Lake to get Chris's car and then back to Logan. Where i was very excited to take a shower and sleep in my own bed. There is something very wonderful about the shower after a week of camping.

And that was basically the highlights of my spring break. I learned a lot of things this week. About myself and about people i was with.

I learned that I'm faster, stronger, and more fearless than i was last year. I am slowly starting to improve on everything. Am I where i want to be, oh no. But i could climb around a mountain without freaking out and wishing that i had help every step of the way. I handled myself.

I also wish that i could go camping much more often. I LOVE CAMPING!!! its such a great escape and its great fun. Its hard work, but somehow its relaxing. Plus you have some of the greatest conversations around campfires.

That was how I spent spring break this year, and now of course i have done no homework this week, but it was nice to run away for awhile.

The little Mazda that could

Tithing and prayers.
ALWAYS PAY YOUR TITHING!!! ALWAYS SAY YOUR PRAYERS!!!! that is how my car is still running.
For those of you who don't know my car, i have a little white '98 mazda proteg'e named Shakespeare Bon Jovi. It is named such because it is old, it's white, its still around and its Living on a prayer.

literally... my car is living on prayers and tithing. Although it is still trying to die and i just keep not letting it. So my wipers have decided that they don't want to work at all anymore. My battery is dead. (i got it tested) and yet my car still starts. I have a leak in my tranny. I need to get my breaks checked. And i can't actually have the heater or de-froster going while the car is stopped.

I honestly wouldn't trust driving my car to salt lake anymore.

But somehow it keeps going. And lasts a little longer than anyone is expecting it too.

Its just adding to my testimony of tithing, prayers AND of acquiring knowledge. The only reason i've managed to keep it alive this long is because of what little knowledge i was able to learn from Nelson before he went on his mission. So i always know when there is a new thing going wrong, because i can tell that something is different. Now don't make the mistake of thinking that i actually know anything about cars, i really don't. Someday i will, but today is not that day. I mostly just know when something isn't normal and i can guess kinda whats going on with it.

But all that aside, my car really shouldn't be running anymore. Thats where the other blessings come in. I found out i have a kid i work with who is a part time mechanic. Another girl i work with's dad owns a mechanic shop or something and said he would take a look at my car for free. AND i have a guy in the bishopric who is kinda a big deal with o'reily auto parts and knows about cars who thinks he can fix my wipers for me.

So basically, my car defies all laws of something i'm sure. It should be dead, and its a pain to drive. But i'm still grateful for him everyday that I am driving him or i have a friend who needs a lift around Logan.

But in all honesty i love my car, i hate that its become unreliable and that i don't have the money to fix everything that needs to be fixed. But al the little quirks my car has gives it something.

my car has character.

So i can't actually unlock the passenger door from outside. But its not like i ever get in that side anyway. I have to turn off any heating or air conditioning at any stop sign or red light or else my belt starts squealing like a banshee. I can't really listened to burned CD's in my car. If i do i can't change the song or else it goes back to the beginning of the CD, if it will play it at all. It makes very distinct rattling noises every time i turn it on, and they change around a little bit when i'm going faster or slowed down. People who ride in my car get very concerned when i first turn it on. But i know what its suppose to sound like, so if i'm not yelling at it or looked don't worry, the car will stay in one piece. I have rust growing around pretty much every edge anymore, and if you get under the car not only is it incredibly dirty, but it is rusting away under there too. I have stains here and there all over, it really needs a deep deep cleaning. (but i don't clean it in the winter, its to cold.) i'm pretty sure something in the trunk broke from the Jack stands falling over. (just cracked it or something) (yes, i keep jack stands in my trunk, but they may get moved soon, to my closet or something) And basically the only reason i don't let people borrow my car, but i'll give you a ride is not because i don't trust you to drive my car. I don't trust my car to be driven.

But its MY car. He'll work for me, and lets be honest, it is NOT a car that you want to break into (which is actually very very very hard to do. I locked my keys in once. My cars is fortress) But its also my space.

More than once Shakespeare has been my get away car. When i'm angry or sad and just need to run away for a little bit, Shakespeare has never let me down. I can't count the number of times i have completely broken down into tears in that car (we've been together for around three years. Three years full of lots and lots of change) He never gives me trouble when i'm having a melt down. He's been there for me when i've needed to give others rides and when i've needed to chase down friends because they were walking in the dark. He also has made it so I've never had to walk in the dark. He actually has a very nice back seat that i've taken quick cat naps in when i had time to kill, but didn't want to drive back home just to come back somewhere. And he keeps me on my toes; just from having him as my car i'll probably be able to extend the life of future cars beyond what people think they should be.

That is Shakespeare. He's kinda like me. Is entirely out of his element. A lot of other people would have given up on him by now, especially if they had other options. Really not the classiest or prettiest thing to look at. Is not in anyway, shape or form the fastest. But he keeps plugging along. All his dents and rust flakes is what make him unique. And to know him is to love him. And I highly doubt that anyone will ever actually love Shakespeare the way i do. And as badly as i really could use a new car, i will be very sad the day that Shakespeare is no longer my chariot.

Thats 70's concert!

So Friday was an awesome amazing day! I went to class, and throughout the day saw people, chatted with people. I GOT TO COLOR PICTURES DURING MY 2 HOUR BREAK!!! which was great fun. And then we had our dress rehearsal for our choir concerts that night. As soon as Chamber was done rehearsing my friend Jordan runs up to me and says "Mandy, do you have anything you need to do right now?" I say "no." Jordan "Can you please run to the box office and get me 2 tickets for the 6 o'clock show for my parents before they sell out?" Me "yeah, not a problem" So i take his student I.D. and head to the box office, where literally three second before i get the tickets someone gets them on-line before me. So i feel terrible, and I'm wondering how my grandma is going to come as well. See they had reserved the back of the house for the choirs so that we could watch each other perform. So i go to Dr. Evans and ask if there is anyway that I can give up my seat for one of the concerts so that my grandma can watch. He says yes, and hands me one of the shirts we were wearing for her, that was her ticket in. But i still feel terrible about not being able to get tickets for Jordan, so at home i make him a cookie to take as an apology. (we had left over cookies from cookie decorating the night before.)
Then i head over to Mike and Justins because Justin needed to chat about some stuff. Well me and Mike have to head up to the concert at the same time so we decide to carpool. When i get there i'm chatting with some other choir people and find out that the shows ARE NOT sold out, there was a glitch in the system. So i run out to the lobby and get 2 tickets for Jordan, and then my grandma bought herself a ticket.
With that Chambers heads to the choir room to sing for some people who are having a dinner. (its all the people who donated money to renovate the choir room or something)then back to performance hall for the show. Which they ended up not having the choirs sit in the back and watch because so many people wanted to see the show.
and this show was SO MUCH FUN!!! we had a great music selection and it was just a lot of fun. After the first show i go say bye to grandma and then we get ready for the second show, where the crowd was even better than the first. After that Mike says i might want to find another ride home because he is going to help the band pack up and load up. I decide to stay and help to. (i'm this weirdo who likes hard manual labor) So after we are done loading up, (and the band gives up both free t-shirts) we are headed to his car and both decide we are hungry (its like 10:30 at night and we hadn't eaten since like three...well i hadn't...i don't know how long for Mike...but he's a boy, they are always hungry) So after we realize that Little ceasers is closed and we don't want to pay for dominoes we decide to go to Betos! well as we get in the car, he can't find his card anywhere so i tell him that i've got mine, i'll just buy this time. He goes "i'll pay you back". Me "No, how many times have you and Justin fed me?" He goes "fine but this is the last time." me-"till the next time?" Mike-"...till the next time."
So we go get our Betos and then head back to his place to eat. Where i realize what time it is (it was like...11) and i say "i need to get going, i have to get up at five for work" Mike goes "mandy, you need to leave." and then he gave me a creamsicle. So i took it and went home, where Megan and Erik were. So i give them an overview of the concert and then go to bed.
after about 4 1/2 hours of sleep I get up for my 8 hour shift. Apparntly i was pretty funny. I had this glazed look on my face for about 2 hours. Around 8 is when we finally got the rush of people which forced me to wake up. And then i worked until 2. However, during my shift someone called in sick and Julie was having a really hard time finding someone to cover. So i ask what time she still needs covered. She says 7-10:30. So i said that i would come back in (i didn't have as many hours next week [i guess this week now] as i wanted/needed so i figured picking up a few more would be a good idea.) So i go home for 5 hours and instead of doing homework i watch a movie and make hats. (i have a lady paying me to make hats) then i head back to work, have fun with the after game rush and then go home and sleep. which was wonderful., because i was really really tired.
and now its Valentines, and I am honestly looking forward to a great day. I refuse to let myself be sad because i am single. I am going to be a Valentine for a bunch of other people. (i already snuck out this morning and bought candy to give to people all day. I even swung by work to give some to the people their. I think they were surprised to see me come in at 5:30 in the morning. But i'll have more candy for the night shift tonight.)

25 Simple Truths.

simple truths that i have learned. about myself and other things.

#1- we all have bad days.

#2- we all have good days.

#3- we all have blah days.

#4- how we handle said days makes the difference in how long the last.

#5- the vast majority of people really aren't drive-thru idiots. the idiots are just the ones we remember.

#6- people are basically good. don't try to tell me they are not.

#7- i quiet possibly have some of the best friends in the world. Even if your not someone i talk to on a regular basis, i really am glad to have you in my life.

#8- being farther away form my family ha made me want to talk to them more.

#9- music theory is stupid. why must it be so complicated.

#10- Nothing is ever as simple or as complicated as we want to make it.

#11- fast food is over priced.

#12- i love good conversation. I would much rather have good conversation than watch a movie anytime. Not that i don't love movies, i just love good conversation more.

#13- Good food ALWAYS goes with good conversation.

#14- going to bed early is not a bad thing.

#15- there is good and bad in EVERYTHING. So no matter what your looking for, you will always find it.

#16- sometimes it is just really hard to find the good. but it is there, i promise.

#17- I wish that i was a more outgoing person in parties and large social situations
where i don't know a lot of people. But i'm not. And its not just a comfort level thing. I get actual anxiety over being somewhere where i don't know a lot of the people. i'm working on it, i'm better in small groups. But it is how I am, and there is nothing wrong with it.

#18- I really do have a good older sister. who is a good older sister when she wants to be. And at the end of the day, i know she would be there if i needed her.

#19- yes, you can cut yourself tying balloons. and yes it hurts.

#20- sometimes taking the bus isn't a bad thing.

#21- always double check the juice you are buying, or else you go home with the wrong stuff and stiff have to drink it.

#22- baby your car, always listen for new sounds, and you should be able to keep it running. Even when it is literally rusting away on you.

#23- find joy in the small and simple things. Because then the small bad things don't seem as big. And the big good things are even greater.

#24- love DOES exist. you will NEVER be able to convince me otherwise. I see it everyday. and i feel it everyday. It is everywhere, look for it.

#25- there are a lot more simple truths. learn them. remember them. apply them. they are fun to see.

water glass.

yeah.
I try to post happy posts and I try to be a happy person. But today was the day i had time to blog and remembered to.

and yesterday was a day full of blows to the self-esteem.

apart they would all basically be small and wouldn't have really bothered me. but when all of them hit at once, they hurt.

and i spend the night curled up in a ball crying myself to sleep wishing that i could just be this or that. that i could change this or that. wishing i was somebody else.

and now its gotten really stupid in the sense that i like who i am generally. This is what the everything boils down to this time.

I feel like i am an ok person. I am a good friend, if you ever need anything i'll be there for you. I like to have fun. I like to play. I like to dance. I'm not a 4.0 student, but i'm not a complete idiot either. i like to go try new things. I am a hard worker.

but i'm not the girl you would date.

because i'm not enough. I am a great friend to have. I'll listen to all you girl problems. and i can play with the guys without them being weird because i'm a girl.

but i'm not the girl you are attracted to.

because that girl is pretty, and smart, and cute, and fun, and out going, and happy, and talented, and caring...and attractive.

and i'm not her.

and so you don't like me. i'm a great friend to have around and you wish that i could find someone too. you honestly do, not just to get rid of me, but because you know i want it.

but how many of your other friends to you introduce me to? when someone is looking for a blind date, how often do you suggest me? When you talk about wanting to set other friends up, how often do i come to mind?

i don't.

all of my friends and roommates current and old come to mind. the girl who lives upstairs comes to mind.

but i get forgotten.

because when i'm not there, guys forget that i even am alive.

when I am there, they forget that i am a girl. or they don't realize that a lot of comments they make can actually hurt a lot.

when they make certain jokes. when they are talking about other girls and one guy says "is she cute?" and the guy can't say that she is gorgeous, but she is cute. the other guys will say, very sarcastically. "she's got a great personality"

my personality is all i have.

i know when i'm not there, i'm never thought of as pretty, or cute. i'm just mandy.

if your having a bad day, or you need a shift covered. If you want help making dinner, if you need a shoulder to cry on. If you need a hug, or a distraction from life just call me up.

because i won't be doing anything.

and i'll be more than happy to help you.

because i want to see you happy. because i care about you.

and its the same thing with girls.

when you need to find another girl to double with for you date this weekend. guess what i'm not doing anything. guess what else...

your not going to think to ask me.

when your having a bad day because some jerk just hurt you. you;ll call me up, we'll make cookies, watch a disney movie, plot revenge and leave feeling a little less hurt.

but when a group of you are going to mardi gras next weekend and i'm sitting right there

you won't invite me.

you'll say "bye mandy, try to do something fun tonight."

yeah? doing what? everyone else is at mardi gras, or with their significant other.

basically people pass by me.

I'm a glass of water.

a glass of water on the counter next to sodas, and juice, and milk, and cider.

your not going to remember i'm there. you want something with some flavor and color. excitement.

but when you really need to re-hydrate. you'll remember. take a drink. and then set me back down and move on.

because thats what it feels like to be Mandy today.

and I'm not saying this the actual truth all the time. and I'm not saying anbody has ever done any of this intentionally.

but thats what it feel like today.

and it hurts.

Logan roller coaster ride

Oy. since my birthday life has been one up and down roller coaster. So 2 days after my birthday i was invited to join the Utah State Chamber singers. (the top choir on campus), i fit into a new pair of jeans that are a size smaller than the last ones of the exact same cut and style i got about 6 months ago. and I found out i am getting a promotion at work. Than last week hit. Life was great until Wednesday. Wednesday i was followed home from classes by some creeper and it freaked me out. Friday i read an article in teh statesman about a peeping tom in my area. so i went and reported creeper man to campus police. during the day, i also found out that a very close friend of mine's dad isn't doing very well. (i don't know how public this friend wants this, and its his business not mine to tell.) so i immediately start worrying about him. that night is the Celebration of the arts gala where (drum roll) AUDRA MCDONALD CAME AND SANG!!!!! and i got to shake her hand. which was amazing.
after said gala i took some cookies and milk to said friend for his car ride home. because we both know that it was going to be a long one.
saturday i get up and go to work. nothing to exciting happens. I go home and plan on a nap. my roommate and her boyfriend were having lunch when i got home. so i go into my room. check my e-mail and stuff first. as i'm about to head to bed i decide to check our front room because i don't hear megan and erik anymore and if they had left i wanted to make sure the front door was closed. i poked my head out to look...yeah...they were still here...apparently erik needed CPR or something. :) i gave her much crap later.
Sunday morning i had a nice little melt down because of creeper man. went to church. came home, (been feeling a lot better) and megan wanted to invite mike over for milkshakes. so we do.
Monday i get up early to go sing with chamber singers down in salt lake (also, sunday mornig everything was looking like it was going to be ok with said friend...as far as i knew. and creeper man wasn't inside my head anymore) the trip to salt lake was much fun. much much fun. chambers are a fun group of people. and all very very nice.
so i get home and decide i need a nap so i go to lie down. my phone starts ringing in the other room. i run and answer it. it is said friend...his dad took a turn for the worse. he was in the hospitol headed for surgery. i was already planning on covering part of his shift, i told him to not worry about coming in. I'd take the whole shift. he really didn't need to worry about work. he was really just not ok on the other line and it was taking every ounce of self control to not go over and see him. but he said he wanted to be alone.
so i go to work and most of my shift i feel like i'm going to throw up (i think i got food poisoning) and now i've skipped my first class because i don't want to stand up because i feel like throwing up.
i would elaborate more. but i knew i had to get an entry in before dad scolds me for not writing one. ;) but my mind is everywhere now.

20 years of Wisdom

So as of yesterday i have been alive for 20 years. And over the course of that time i have learned a lot of things.

Everyone was dumb in 7th grade, thats part of being that age. We all thought we were so grown up and cool, but we really weren't.

Life is all about perspective, something my mother has taught me (she told me this in reference to moving, but i think it applies everywhere.) there is good and bad everywhere and your going to find what you are looking for. I've tried to start training myself to see the good, because it really is there. and i do see it.

cardboard is a completely acceptable sled as long as the hill has iced over a little.

college cooking sometimes very funny and very interesting, but usually good.

everyone should be required to work fast food in there life sometime.

Objects will never replace relationships with actual people.

Music is what emotions sound like.

We all have greatness in us, sometimes we just have to wait for someone to give us permission to release it. I we don't even realize all they did was give us a key that we had in our pocket the whole time.

Wing Wednesday is on Tuesdays and Thursdays, don't question it, just accept it.

College is so much better than high school, and a lot of the lessons you learn you don't learn in a classroom.

Box forts just get cooler the older you get.

People are all different, but the same. Culture is a fascinating thing.

I have been blessed with some of the most amazing people in the world. I quite possibly have the best friends in the world. All i wanted for my birthday this year was to be surrounded by good friends and good food. I got my wish, my apartment was full of friends and food. thats how i want my birthdays to be from now on. I couldn't believe how many people were there, but the best part was i knew all of them. they were ALL my good friends. I dont' know how it was for everyone else. But it felt so warm, and wonderful. I don't remember the last time that i was that blissfully happy just standing in a room. Whats more, i can't believe what amazing friends i have. Everyone in that room was just a good person, kind caring, a friend. People were talking with each other. It was so wonderful. I just want to do it again. i still cna't believe the people in my life.

Another thing i have learned is that the Lord has an incredible hand in my life. He is watching over me and taking care of me. I've had challenges, lots of them. Life is a challenge, but i've never been left hanging out to dry. He knows right when to step in and help.

The most important lessons in life aren't taught through a lecture, but expierence. We need to be willing to let people teach us things about life.

I've learned i need to sing quieter when i sing hymns in church. I use to think that me singing slightly louder than what was comfortable for me was how i should sing them, to worship, like the Lord couldn't hear me if i was quiet. But i sat next to friend once who doesn't really sing, even though he has a good voice. And he was simply singing the hymn to worship. I learned so much from that. He doesn't even know he taught.

The people who have taught me the most were being themselves, i learned from their examples. I wanted to be more like they were.

Words don't mean much. As much i love words, and i love to paint pictures with them. But i don't learn much from words. I learn from examples.

Love hurts. Learning to love hurts. But learning from it is much better than holding in the sad feelings.

And mostly i've learned the more i learn the less i know.

But i'm excited to see what the next year brings me.