seat belt fastened.

I'm sorry it's been so long. And I've even had some good thoughts lately, but it's remembering them long enough to come post.

I've had a lot going on. And I wasn't okay for a few weeks there, i was constantly freaking out in my head, I was anxious and I was feeling so inadequate in so many aspects of life.

I finally had a complete melt-down a few weeks ago.

But I'm doing better now. I've got some amazing friends and a very supportive family.

At one point i decided I needed to let my best friend back in, I've kind of subconsciously been closing random people out. I didn't want anyone to know how messed up I was. But I had cut off one of my best friends. I mean, we still chatted and talked on a daily basis, but I was trying to not let anyone see the hurt and confusion i was going through. And right now, selfish as it is, the last thing i need to do is distance myself from people, especially best friends. So I went over to his place and dumped a lot of crap on him. And he listened. he made me feel better.

then the next day we had seminaries, and i got to go almost all day. :) IT WAS AMAZING!!!! I love being able to go to the seminaries. And i somehow managed to spit water in my own face, still trying to figure that one out.

That sunday, ELDER HOLLAND CAME AND SPOKE AT THE SPECTRUM!!!! it was pretty amazing. i got to sing in the choir for it.

Basically, life has been full of adventures, but I think I've finally got my seat belt more secure. Instead of hanging onto the safety bar for dear life, afraid of dying or drowning.

I'm taking it one day at a time, and all my old problems are still here, but I've been given some perspective and a little bit of courage to go forward.

And i've been given laughter. The ability to laugh with my friends. and we laugh a lot, we have a wonderful time together, always. I cannot believe these incredible, wonderful weird-o's that I call my friends. I am so grateful to them, and the smiles they always bring me.