Unconditional love

So after a really hard week, I was able to go spend the night with my friend Kelsie, her husband and there little one year old daughter. (Who is adorable and freaking smart, just so you know)

I loved being with their family.

I loved waking up and hearing Alex with little baby Saryn while she was waking up.

I loved being around a family again.

As I was lying there, feeling like a creeper because I was just enjoying listening to them wake up, I was trying to figure out why I felt so peaceful.

It's because I was with a family.

Something that I really want in my life.

I loved that feeling of love. That unconditional love.

I know that it exists in other places and in other ways.

I love my friends without condition. Even when they make me so angry I want to punch them in the face. It never alters the fact that I love them.

Even if they turn into a jerk and seem to not care about me anymore, I still care about them.

I'm weird like that.

And if they ever need me I'll be there.

But I miss being around families. There is such a special love that exists between a parent and a child.

The child tends to not realize or appreciate it until they get older.

But from the second you exist to your parents. (be that the first time they hold you, the first time they realize they are pregnant, when all the adoption papers go through, etc.) You are theirs. And they love you.

No matter the choices you make.

No matter the profession you choose.

No matter how much furniture you break.

They love you.

I'm even convinced that the ones who will cut off their children still love them. They just don't know how.

It's a complicated thing to explain, especially since I've never been a parent.

Just a friend.

Not even an Aunt. Not technically.

I miss being around that.

Being a single college student, with no siblings having had any kids yet or be anywhere close to it, I don't get to be around it a lot.

My parents live to far away for me to be home with them very often.

I cannot wait for the day I am blessed to have a family.

To have a husband who will love me unconditionally, love me warts and all.

And for me to love him, without condition, warts and all.

And then for us to decide we are crazy enough to want children, and raise them, and love them, warts and all.

Because love is what I thrive on.

It is something I have learned about myself.

My favorite places to be are when I am surrounded by love.

Surrounded by people who genuinely care about each other, even if they don't agree with every choice the other person has made. All of us have made choices that someone else who loves us didn't agree with.

I hope I am lucky enough to be blessed with a family in this life.

And if I'm stuck waiting until the next, I'm sure that he, whoever I end up with, will be worth the wait.