...Baby steps?

So remember how I was starting to actually have all these good habits? Like reading my textbooks, or keeping my room clean, or studying.

Well...that lasted only a good tow weeks.

We now look at the last two weeks when I forgot to take a quiz, didn't clean my room for a whole week (if you know me, you know my room can get Katrina-ish [as in that hurricane that hit New Orleans when I was in Jr. High] in a matter of days.)

And now it's the day before a presentation and an hour before my test...what did I do last night?

I listened to Charles give me the rough draft version of the story he is writing...BUT IT WAS SO GOOD!!! I'm excited to see it turn into the full story.

...and now I know remember nothing about the first four chapters of interpersonal communication...

And it's not like I didn't have time to study. I had plenty of time, I just didn't manage my time well.

So...I guess here are the baby steps to where Mandy is actually improving.

1. I cleaned my room yesterday instead of letting it get worse and worse until Fall Break comes around.

2. I'm owning up to the fact that it's my own dang fault that I haven't accomplished my school work and not making up lame excuses.

3. I make my bed almost every morning. (Mom, aren't you so proud? I finally learned after 22 years of life!)

4. I'm starting to take ownership of my feelings. I'm learning less and less to allow someone to "make me angry" Instead of saying "you make me angry" I try to say " I am angry" and then attribute some of the reasons to the person.

5. I'm owning that I have feelings, and I'm trying to inch towards actually sharing them with people. (seriously, you have no idea how big of a deal this actually is. I don't do well with vulnerability.)

I'm sure there are a few more, like I'm trying to do less negative self talk and even working on some positive self talk.

The big thing is that I am aware I am a different person than I was a year ago, and I'm hoping that I'm becoming a better one day by day, just with little baby steps in the right direction.