It really is the little things that will make or brake you. Last night I went over to Michaels to change my brake pads on my car, since he knew what he was doing and me...not as much. its been awhile since i've changed brake pads. So we've taken off the pads and are trying to put the new ones on, but we can't seem to make them fit. we both spent a good amount of time looking at them trying to figure out what was wrong. ( the '98 protoge was not the smartest car ever designed.) so i'm looking at it and i realize there are these 2 things on the side that look like maybe they compress...i figured there wasn't anything to lose, so we give it a shot. Lo and behold, everything goes back together. and now my brakes don't make deathly sounds when i try to stop. I actually need to get one of my rhoders smoothed out. ( i let the pads wear way to far down.) although, the pads on one side were completely worn away while the pads on the other side still had plenty of pad left. who knows.
But isn't it always the little things that make a difference? for good or bad. a little over a week ago i was having a terrible day, and i mean i was just grumpy a lot of personal insecurities were starting to surface with my jury getting ever closer. And we went cliff jumping, which is actually a lot of fun. I just have a hard time jumping when i get to the edge of the cliff. Well i was taking awhile to jump and I just couldn't get myself to jump off, my friends were trying to get me to jump. and one of the tactics they used (and meaning to be funny with it) was saying things like "you can't do it." (they know that i have this issue where i like to spite people sometimes.) and i know what they were saying and what i was hearing were 2 very different things. how could they have known that i was struggling with feelings of " i can't do anything right." they couldn't have. so i kept it to myself. but it did bring up a lot of different things inside.
Later that night, i was alone and feeling sad. I just kept wishing that someone cared. (Which i know people do, but everyone needs reminders every now and then. because we are humans.) The next day I really didn't even care about appearing ok. i was to tired emotionally and physically to actually care if i seemed ok.
So i get up, I can't find my work hat. I thankfully had a shorter shift that day. i think i only worked 6 hours. So i go, thankfully the manager on shift didn't care that i could find my hat that morning. And while i was polite and just fine with customers, as soon as i didn't have to deal with customers i was done. I didn't care.
Then of course as I go on break, i get my schedule for the next week. and i only had 14 hours. so i go back to the crew room. eat something really fast. call mom to see if we are anywhere closer to having a plan for when they are coming out. and then hung up with about 15 minutes left on break. So i decide i need to get out of the store. So i hurry out the front door, passing Mike as I go who says hi, which i say hi back, but i wasn't in the mood to chat.
So I sit out in my car and just lie there listening to the rain falling on the car. Trying to calm down, knowing that i'm much more likely to get angry fast on a day like this, and the lunch rush was about to start. and it is impossible to go through a lunch rush without some customer being angry.
So I get off break, not really feeling any better. And get put on present, so i get to deal with handing the food out to people. Mike was on the the second side of grill. (the side that is much easier to come up front from) So we have a slow second and he comes up and asks "Mandy, are you ok?" I'm handing out an order so I just mumble, "I'm just having a rough day". and then he has to get back to grill because orders have popped up. he doesn't actually know how i actually did feel a little better after he came to me and asked if i was ok. (he doesn't exactly have a track record of asking me how I am.) a few minutes later, when we had a milisecond break, he came up, "are you not feeling well?" ( i had been sick a few days earlier) and I just said "i'm just having a bad day." I really didn't want to talk about it at work.
So I get off and come home. get ready for a voice lesson. walk up to campus, and of course during my lesson i put on the "everything in life is great" face. meanwhile everything was just another blow. I know my teacher is just trying to tell me what ot work on, and she did give me praise to for the things i've been improving on. But i still just kept hearing "not good enough" in the back of my head.
I get home, my roommate comes home, and out of relfex i put on the "life is okay" face. But a little later Mike came over, just to see if i was okay. (i can't actually remember a time he's ever done that) But i really didn't want to talk about it in front of my roommate either. So we go outside to chat. And i told him some of the surface things that were going on. (he doesn't realize there are a lot of depth problems that make the surface problems eat me) I mentioned some family things, I mentioned the "i can't do it" feeling. i mentioned how i hate my job, but i don't really want to quit until my little sister has a job secured, in case i try to get her a job there. after listening for awhile he tells me some things to help and then says "Mandy, you should look for a new job this week." "Mandy, you need to do something for you." (funny, i get that a lot actually) and i listened to some of his advice. But he had a date to get ready for, and I had institute soon. So we parted. but i felt a little better. someone cared. someone cared enough to ask if i was ok, and then actually listened to what i was saying.
So i go to institute, which helped. I love my teacher. I chatted with him for a few minutes after class. Then went home and ended up looking on the job board just to see what was available. and there it was...a personal assistant job. the kind of job i wanted. I figured worst that could happen is i don't get it right? So I go next door to see if Justin can help me make a resume. and so it began.
Friday i wake up, and i wasn't ok, but i was better. and that was enough to put on a face. Instead of a resume, i stalled for time by sending an e-mail for more information about the job.
Satruday, i closed counter at work. which made me incredibly grumpy because i hate closing counter. I get home and i pop by Mike and Justins, because me and Mike were going to carpool south the next week for Harry Potter, and we were trying to work out details. (i had to move a voice lesson around) before i get gone Ryan comes home. We end up chatting a little bit and I decide i need to start heading to bed. But Ryan asks me something and I just mention that i've had a really rough week. Ryan- "do you want to talk about it?" me- "your roommates are going to bed." he says " we can talk at your place if you want." So i decide i'll just give him the surface problems like i did mike and then i can go to bed. but Ryan wasn't in a rush, and neither was I. So we ended up getting to some of the depth issues. We end up on the couch, and he has an arm around me and is just listening to me. thats the first time in my life that has ever happened.
Towards the end of our conversation he says something that is little to everyone else. but meant a lot to me. he said "Mandy, you are a very special person. And someday you will have someone who knows that and treats you like the princess you are."
That was the first time in my life I've ever been compared to a princess.
after that, little things kept going right. Sunday I had a good friend come over for dinner. Not a big thing. but it made my night.
Monday I learned a new song that i can hand clap to. Not a big thing. but it made me happy. and i got a slurpee, and they had a cherry flavor. :)
Tuesday, i got an e-mail back about the personal assistant job.
Wednesday I went ciff jumping and Ryan took me out to dinner.
Thursday i got to see my family, my best friends and Harry Potter, plus i got a really cool wand.
Friday I came back up to Logan with Mike and we got lost a few times. which was great fun.
Saturday i got off work an hou early, went out to see my family at grandmas (my cousins were all up and my 3 great uncles)
Sunday we made smoothies. and i got the e-mail saying that I officially had the job as the personal assistant.
all little things.
little things made my life suck.
little things made me smile again.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
brain throw-up
Yes, i am aware that it has been awhile since my last blog. I was going to blog about a month ago, but then I found out that I was put on probation by the vocal department. I didn't feel much like writing anything. And after that time just got away from me. Time is funny like that.
I wish I knew what to write right. Have you ever felt like there is something inside you that wants to get out? but you don't know what it is, and as soon as you pen hits the paper that feeling goes away.
maybe that one-act i wrote in high school really is going to be the only thing of consequence that i write.
My little sister is coming up to school in a month. weird. there is no way she is old enough to be doing that. She suppose to be like 14...when did she grow up?
same with my little brother. He can date now, which should just not happen.
my older sister graduated college and is living with her boyfriend. ( who apparently i should not be surprised if ends up my future brother-in-law)
I can't count how many friends i have that are married or engaged or almost engaged.
For how monotonous my life is, it keeps changing. Maybe thats my issue lately. I feel like everyone around me's life is changing and I'm stuck with my work at mcdonalds and nothing else really. maybe thats why i feel grumpy half the time.
I haven't been sleeping good either. I wish i could fall asleep at night. that'd be great; to be able to fall asleep and stay asleep.
i don't know. this is kinda all i got today.
I wish I knew what to write right. Have you ever felt like there is something inside you that wants to get out? but you don't know what it is, and as soon as you pen hits the paper that feeling goes away.
maybe that one-act i wrote in high school really is going to be the only thing of consequence that i write.
My little sister is coming up to school in a month. weird. there is no way she is old enough to be doing that. She suppose to be like 14...when did she grow up?
same with my little brother. He can date now, which should just not happen.
my older sister graduated college and is living with her boyfriend. ( who apparently i should not be surprised if ends up my future brother-in-law)
I can't count how many friends i have that are married or engaged or almost engaged.
For how monotonous my life is, it keeps changing. Maybe thats my issue lately. I feel like everyone around me's life is changing and I'm stuck with my work at mcdonalds and nothing else really. maybe thats why i feel grumpy half the time.
I haven't been sleeping good either. I wish i could fall asleep at night. that'd be great; to be able to fall asleep and stay asleep.
i don't know. this is kinda all i got today.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
A new season
Today marks the end of the first week of summer in Logan for Mandy. A summer that will consist of a minimum of 30 hour work weeks and chilling in her apartment between adventures. (ya know, until it get disgustingly hot and the apartment i'm "chilling" in has no air conditioning and therefore i will be baking in stead of chilling)
I think though its turning out to be a fun summer. This last week I got to see my parental units, which is always fun. And then i put a few blonde streaks in my hair. worked and worked and worked and worked. cooked. ate. played. And Saturday was the day that sucked. I had a nine hour work day right? (8-5 is by far my least favorite shift)but we were busy, like slammed busy for like 5 hours straight of that. Plus it got really hot in the store. I do not do well with heat. I get heat exhaustion very very very easily. (in fact i got it mildly yesterday) but after coming home, showering, eating with friends, watching movies and eating ice cream. Life was okay again.
Ok...here is my main thing about this summer...well...at least as of he last few days. EVERYONE around me is getting into relationships. (i know i say this all the time, but its really true this time.) I have 2 of my 3 roommates engaged. My old roommate got engaged just before school got out. My summer roommate from last summer is spending her summer in North Carolina with her boyfriend. The girl at work is going on another date again. My friends who are bascially my brothers are pursuing girls. and then there is me.
This is my predicament. old habits die hard.
someone once told me the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again an expecting different results. Well, in the dating realm, obviously I've had no success. I can like a guy, be friends with him, a great friend, a best friend. But never a girldfriend. Never what they are looking for in girlfriends. and yet every time they seem to describe "dream girl" i fill most of the qualifications.
But thats not the point I'm trying to make. i can't control other peoples actions. I can't make choices for them. I can only control what I do and how I react and act about things.
The problem is, I don't know how to be different. Because i also don't want to be someone i'm not just to find someone. That is self defeating. I've met a few of the new guys around. And i have other guys that i'm already interested in. But how do i make them, or find out if they have interest in me?
People always say "guys, ask the girls out". and then they say "Girls, let them know you are interested" everytime i try that the boys start avoiding me. which is thoroughly annoying.
And now i am begining to ramble. and this is not coming out at all like i'm trying to get it to.
Long story short. It is a new summer, filled with new people and new adventures that are waiting for me to come discover. I'm hoping that I can find someone to share the adventures with. If not a romantic someone, just new friends to add to lifes adventures of fun and discovery. Its a new summer, and everything can change.
I have to be the one to step out of Mandy's habits and do things that terrify me. It's just another adventure. a terryfing one, but if i can face the fear. The rewards are far greater than the fear i had to face.
I think though its turning out to be a fun summer. This last week I got to see my parental units, which is always fun. And then i put a few blonde streaks in my hair. worked and worked and worked and worked. cooked. ate. played. And Saturday was the day that sucked. I had a nine hour work day right? (8-5 is by far my least favorite shift)but we were busy, like slammed busy for like 5 hours straight of that. Plus it got really hot in the store. I do not do well with heat. I get heat exhaustion very very very easily. (in fact i got it mildly yesterday) but after coming home, showering, eating with friends, watching movies and eating ice cream. Life was okay again.
Ok...here is my main thing about this summer...well...at least as of he last few days. EVERYONE around me is getting into relationships. (i know i say this all the time, but its really true this time.) I have 2 of my 3 roommates engaged. My old roommate got engaged just before school got out. My summer roommate from last summer is spending her summer in North Carolina with her boyfriend. The girl at work is going on another date again. My friends who are bascially my brothers are pursuing girls. and then there is me.
This is my predicament. old habits die hard.
someone once told me the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again an expecting different results. Well, in the dating realm, obviously I've had no success. I can like a guy, be friends with him, a great friend, a best friend. But never a girldfriend. Never what they are looking for in girlfriends. and yet every time they seem to describe "dream girl" i fill most of the qualifications.
But thats not the point I'm trying to make. i can't control other peoples actions. I can't make choices for them. I can only control what I do and how I react and act about things.
The problem is, I don't know how to be different. Because i also don't want to be someone i'm not just to find someone. That is self defeating. I've met a few of the new guys around. And i have other guys that i'm already interested in. But how do i make them, or find out if they have interest in me?
People always say "guys, ask the girls out". and then they say "Girls, let them know you are interested" everytime i try that the boys start avoiding me. which is thoroughly annoying.
And now i am begining to ramble. and this is not coming out at all like i'm trying to get it to.
Long story short. It is a new summer, filled with new people and new adventures that are waiting for me to come discover. I'm hoping that I can find someone to share the adventures with. If not a romantic someone, just new friends to add to lifes adventures of fun and discovery. Its a new summer, and everything can change.
I have to be the one to step out of Mandy's habits and do things that terrify me. It's just another adventure. a terryfing one, but if i can face the fear. The rewards are far greater than the fear i had to face.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Easter Weekend
So as many people i'm sure are aware. this last weekend was easter weekend, which lead into the last week of classes. And on Friday guess who woke up sick? MANDY!!! i felt like crap. my sinus were freaking out and i had an upset stomach. but i can't miss my first 2 classes so i drag myself over to campus. After my first 2 classes i decide that i can't keep going. So i go home, i only had choirs left that day...except we have a concert in a week. So i decide instead that if i don't get sick before noon, i'll go back to classes. so i go home and crash for about an hour and half. noon comes around and i'm not sick. so i go to class. where several people say that i don't look good. (great observations) so after choirs i head home, deposit my paycheck. go buy some chicken noodle soup, and run into work to request a day off work during finals week. I walk into work and my co-worker megan goes "mandy, whats wrong?" i say "nothing, i just don't feel very good. my sinuses are commiting mutiny." apparently i looked like i had been crying. so i go home and sleep for three hours.
After my long nap i felt human again. So i decide to try and go to the luau at the institute. (Mostly so i can get justin out of his apartment) which worked for an hour then we went back to his place and watched a really really stupid movie called "the box". theres 2 hours of my life i'll never get back. then i head home so i cang et up for work the next morning.
The next morning i go to work, still feeling lousy. But i had to work, it waas to late to call in sick. But at one point i did beg my manager to let me switch with someone in the hole so that i could stop moving around so much. So she let me go back for 3 hours. (where i shamelessly texted some friends asking them to make me laugh so i could make it through the next few hours) but i managed to survive.
Then after getting off i go home, shower, pack up and head to grandmas for easter (and to borrow her washing machine) well...i'm tunring onto 4th north...wasn't quite paying attention at the stop sign. I though the car in front of me had gone so i was watching on coming traffic...i forgot to double check...i rear ended them (thankfully i was going from a stand still, so nothing really bad happened. their trunk might be a little jacked up, but i gave them my contact information so that if it costs a lot to fix we can work something out.) i felt terrible though. But then i headed onto grandmas.
I get there, we eat dinner. (she can tell i don't feel very good) we were going to dye eggs and stuff, but we were both really tired. so we did laundry, watched 10 commandments (sort of) and chatted. then headed to bed. Where half way through the night i started feeling way worse. So we get up the next morning, go to church go home, eat dinner and then grandma made me take a nap because i really needed one. Then around six i head home. feeling like crap. i had been having a fever off and on all day. and i would get hot and then cold and then hot and then cold. After being back in Logan i headed to mapleview. Justin opened the door and said "Mandy, you look like crap" i said "thats kinda how i feel."
Monday morning i wake up and Cyri doesn't even want me to go to classes. But i can't miss keyboard harmony or theory and i won't miss institute. I thought i was going to be able to make it through all of my classes. But right before choir started i hit a great big huge wall. So i asked Dr. Evans if i could leave. I went down to work to see if i could get my shift covered. called some people. got it covered. and then went home to sleep. except i couldn't sleep. and i was getting way way worse. I couldn't really talk, my eyes were watering like i was crying, my sinuses were stuffed up, i was running a fever again i would get really hot and then really cold so i would go from sweating to shivering in like 2 minutes. basically i was sicker than i've ever been since i moved out of the house. I managed to eat so i could take some suddafed and ibprofen. but i called my mom, (pretty sure i ended up in tears on the phone) because i didn't feel good and i just wanted mommy. and i wanted a blessing from daddy and i didn't feel good and i was miserable and i just wanted to feel better but i couldn't fall asleep. (i was so incredibly exhausted it was ridiculous.) i managed to calm down after a few minutes. I texted my friend Jordan asking if he was home. He said he wasn't yet, and then asked why. I asked if he could go get another priesthood holder and give me a blessing. (that was the original plan sunday night with Justin, but i needed another one) He says "Yeah, of course" but he was at the store, so i waited about a half hour to go over. Before i go over my friend Mitch knocks on our door. I open it and he goes "you look terrible" i go "i feel terrible. enter at your own risk" he came in anyway. we chatted for a few minutes before i go to Jordans. I get to jordans, he opens the door. "Mandy, you don't look very good." me "i don't feel very good" so his FHE dad comes over, they give me a blessing and then me and Jordan chatted for about an hour. He always knows how to make me laugh. :) and he has no idea how much i appreciate it.
So now i'm home, needing to go to bed. But i've at least taken a hot shower which helped and i'm feeling a lot better. not perfect, nor nowhere near. But good enough that i can function and i'm not having a melt down on the phone with my mom. So that was my easter weekend. Now if i can survive finals, everything will be ok. :)
After my long nap i felt human again. So i decide to try and go to the luau at the institute. (Mostly so i can get justin out of his apartment) which worked for an hour then we went back to his place and watched a really really stupid movie called "the box". theres 2 hours of my life i'll never get back. then i head home so i cang et up for work the next morning.
The next morning i go to work, still feeling lousy. But i had to work, it waas to late to call in sick. But at one point i did beg my manager to let me switch with someone in the hole so that i could stop moving around so much. So she let me go back for 3 hours. (where i shamelessly texted some friends asking them to make me laugh so i could make it through the next few hours) but i managed to survive.
Then after getting off i go home, shower, pack up and head to grandmas for easter (and to borrow her washing machine) well...i'm tunring onto 4th north...wasn't quite paying attention at the stop sign. I though the car in front of me had gone so i was watching on coming traffic...i forgot to double check...i rear ended them (thankfully i was going from a stand still, so nothing really bad happened. their trunk might be a little jacked up, but i gave them my contact information so that if it costs a lot to fix we can work something out.) i felt terrible though. But then i headed onto grandmas.
I get there, we eat dinner. (she can tell i don't feel very good) we were going to dye eggs and stuff, but we were both really tired. so we did laundry, watched 10 commandments (sort of) and chatted. then headed to bed. Where half way through the night i started feeling way worse. So we get up the next morning, go to church go home, eat dinner and then grandma made me take a nap because i really needed one. Then around six i head home. feeling like crap. i had been having a fever off and on all day. and i would get hot and then cold and then hot and then cold. After being back in Logan i headed to mapleview. Justin opened the door and said "Mandy, you look like crap" i said "thats kinda how i feel."
Monday morning i wake up and Cyri doesn't even want me to go to classes. But i can't miss keyboard harmony or theory and i won't miss institute. I thought i was going to be able to make it through all of my classes. But right before choir started i hit a great big huge wall. So i asked Dr. Evans if i could leave. I went down to work to see if i could get my shift covered. called some people. got it covered. and then went home to sleep. except i couldn't sleep. and i was getting way way worse. I couldn't really talk, my eyes were watering like i was crying, my sinuses were stuffed up, i was running a fever again i would get really hot and then really cold so i would go from sweating to shivering in like 2 minutes. basically i was sicker than i've ever been since i moved out of the house. I managed to eat so i could take some suddafed and ibprofen. but i called my mom, (pretty sure i ended up in tears on the phone) because i didn't feel good and i just wanted mommy. and i wanted a blessing from daddy and i didn't feel good and i was miserable and i just wanted to feel better but i couldn't fall asleep. (i was so incredibly exhausted it was ridiculous.) i managed to calm down after a few minutes. I texted my friend Jordan asking if he was home. He said he wasn't yet, and then asked why. I asked if he could go get another priesthood holder and give me a blessing. (that was the original plan sunday night with Justin, but i needed another one) He says "Yeah, of course" but he was at the store, so i waited about a half hour to go over. Before i go over my friend Mitch knocks on our door. I open it and he goes "you look terrible" i go "i feel terrible. enter at your own risk" he came in anyway. we chatted for a few minutes before i go to Jordans. I get to jordans, he opens the door. "Mandy, you don't look very good." me "i don't feel very good" so his FHE dad comes over, they give me a blessing and then me and Jordan chatted for about an hour. He always knows how to make me laugh. :) and he has no idea how much i appreciate it.
So now i'm home, needing to go to bed. But i've at least taken a hot shower which helped and i'm feeling a lot better. not perfect, nor nowhere near. But good enough that i can function and i'm not having a melt down on the phone with my mom. So that was my easter weekend. Now if i can survive finals, everything will be ok. :)
Friday, April 15, 2011
Boys in my life
As I have mentioned before, i quite possibly have the best friends in the world. I however would like to take a moment to make a special note about the AMAZING guy friends i tend to always be blessed with.
First, there was Thomas and Josh, in Lehi. Thomas was my very best friend on the planet in high school. I'm not sure how aware of that he is, but its true. I considered him my very best friend. (Dani, you were my other best friend) He always could make me laugh and we would just be silly and weird together and i can't believe that i lucked out and met him.
Josh Lee, I love this kid to death! He is the only guy that ever took me to a formal dance. He took me to homecoming my Junior year right before I moved. I don't think he ever knew that i never felt bad around him. Not only did Josh never make any kind of comment that could hurt me, (i've had friends manage to do that with entirely innocent comments) he would constantly find ways to make me feel good about myself. I still remember the look on his face when I came down the stairs in my homecoming dress. Josh always knew how to make me smile too. And he would be there whenever i needed someone to talk to. Plus he gives AMAZING hugs. I can't wait till he gets back from his mission and I can get another hug. :)
Nelson, he was my best friend in Texas. He is the reason that I passed algebra and the reason my car still works. What was nice about our relationship is that we were very good for each other. We're about the same age and I wasn't drooling all over him so it was easy to be friends. I was good at keeping track of his life and he was good at getting me to calm down and just have fun. Plus i hadn't really had any friends in Texas up to that point. I was there for him when he needed it, but what i always appreciated more than anything is when he knew i was in a bad mood, even if he was already in one, he would ask me how i was doing and then listen to the answer. Even if i just needed to vent a little. He would try to help, and usually i just needed to calm down and let go. He also towed me out to Utah when i moved out of my house. He took good care of me. He use to say all the time "Mandy, someday i'm gonna take care of you." "when i'm rich, i'm gonna take care of you." He became my brother.
Which brings us to Wilson, Nelsons little brother. Who is also like my little brother. mostly we have good conversation and are riding in the same boat. (inside thing) but what i love about him is the completely intelligent conversations we can have on completely pointless topics. and they would last for extended periods of time. and everyone around us would get very confused.
Then of course Mike and Justin. However, they are not the same person so they each get their own paragraph.
Mike i was closer to first. WE had institute together last year and it was both our last class of the day so we would walk home together. He would tell me his girl problems and I would listen. Or school problems...problems in general and I would listen. But it built a good relationship. Because he is also the one who is always willing to give me the tough advice. He waits for me to ask for it, but then he will be kindly blunt. But because of his kind bluntness I've become a better person and in all honesty i do feel better about myself. He also taught me the first two songs i ever learned on guitar. He would eat my food when i would offer it. And he takes good care of me. He's been known to not offer food, just give it to me. He took me to and from the airport when i flew home at christmas. THe thing i really appreciated was he originally wasn't coming home the day that i flew back, but a day earlier. He was worried about me getting home though, and so he requested an extra day off work so that i would have a ride home. On top of that he wouldn't let me pay him gas money. And thats just the big things. he's done A LOT of little things for me.
Justin. I Love Justin. He has become an older brother to me. He is very very very good at listening to me and probably knows more about me than anyone else in Logan. I'm so happy that we got to know each other better over the summer. He spoiled me last semester. I would go over there a lot because i was having a bad day or stressed and I just needed to do something for someone else. (he caught on fast that this is how i work. If i'm stressed, i'll cook for you) It got to the point I'd ask if he'd eaten and if i could come make dinner for him and roommates. (he is much more likely to answer his phone than anyone else in their apartment) and so i would go over and make food for them and then he would go "Mandy, whats going on?" One time i was broke and he tried to take me grocery shopping. For christmas he paid for my accompanist for my juries. But the thing i am most grateful for is the listening ear he gives me. And i try to give it to him in return.
And now onto my chamber boys (as i am lovingly referring to them as.) Jordan and Spencer. Jordan and Spencer make me laugh all the time, and they don't know how badly i need it some days. Spencer will give me amazing hugs whenever i want one and both of them have let me use them as pillows before. Spencer also let me use him as a space heater on chamber tour. Mostly I like how i feel like they care about me. Which don't miss read what i'm trying to say. I mean in little things. We were walking home from chamber tour (it was snowing and we were all pulling luggage and i said if they would walk home with me i would give them both rides to their apartments) well we came across a REALLY big puddle (keep in mind it was wet snow falling, i was carrying luggage and i was in heels...i'm not always the brightest crayon in the tool shed.)So we came to big puddle, Jordan turned around and grabbed my suitcase for me so that i could make it across the puddle easier. We are almost to my building and i finally slipped on my heels (the snow was sticking to the bottom and so i had about 2 inches of snow on teh bottom of my shoe, not easy to balance) I laughed as i went down, as did they, but they instantly were making sure i was ok and not hurt. and it was the way they were saying it and i can't really describe it. but i love having their friendships.
In addition to Jordan and spencer there is brad and adam, who mostly just make me laugh and let me joke around with them. and this week i've really just needed people to laugh with.
Those are the amazing guy friends in my life. and there are actually more than this, but i could never possibly hope to right about all of them. I just can't believe how blessed i am. And i have said many many prayers of thanks for being lucky enough to ALWAYS have AMAZING guy friends in my life. They teach me and make me laugh. and I still can't believe how lucky I am to have them all. And it will be a sad day indeed (but also very joyous for i will be happy for them) when i have to give them up to their wives someday. And i hope those girls, whoever they are, realize how lucky they are.
First, there was Thomas and Josh, in Lehi. Thomas was my very best friend on the planet in high school. I'm not sure how aware of that he is, but its true. I considered him my very best friend. (Dani, you were my other best friend) He always could make me laugh and we would just be silly and weird together and i can't believe that i lucked out and met him.
Josh Lee, I love this kid to death! He is the only guy that ever took me to a formal dance. He took me to homecoming my Junior year right before I moved. I don't think he ever knew that i never felt bad around him. Not only did Josh never make any kind of comment that could hurt me, (i've had friends manage to do that with entirely innocent comments) he would constantly find ways to make me feel good about myself. I still remember the look on his face when I came down the stairs in my homecoming dress. Josh always knew how to make me smile too. And he would be there whenever i needed someone to talk to. Plus he gives AMAZING hugs. I can't wait till he gets back from his mission and I can get another hug. :)
Nelson, he was my best friend in Texas. He is the reason that I passed algebra and the reason my car still works. What was nice about our relationship is that we were very good for each other. We're about the same age and I wasn't drooling all over him so it was easy to be friends. I was good at keeping track of his life and he was good at getting me to calm down and just have fun. Plus i hadn't really had any friends in Texas up to that point. I was there for him when he needed it, but what i always appreciated more than anything is when he knew i was in a bad mood, even if he was already in one, he would ask me how i was doing and then listen to the answer. Even if i just needed to vent a little. He would try to help, and usually i just needed to calm down and let go. He also towed me out to Utah when i moved out of my house. He took good care of me. He use to say all the time "Mandy, someday i'm gonna take care of you." "when i'm rich, i'm gonna take care of you." He became my brother.
Which brings us to Wilson, Nelsons little brother. Who is also like my little brother. mostly we have good conversation and are riding in the same boat. (inside thing) but what i love about him is the completely intelligent conversations we can have on completely pointless topics. and they would last for extended periods of time. and everyone around us would get very confused.
Then of course Mike and Justin. However, they are not the same person so they each get their own paragraph.
Mike i was closer to first. WE had institute together last year and it was both our last class of the day so we would walk home together. He would tell me his girl problems and I would listen. Or school problems...problems in general and I would listen. But it built a good relationship. Because he is also the one who is always willing to give me the tough advice. He waits for me to ask for it, but then he will be kindly blunt. But because of his kind bluntness I've become a better person and in all honesty i do feel better about myself. He also taught me the first two songs i ever learned on guitar. He would eat my food when i would offer it. And he takes good care of me. He's been known to not offer food, just give it to me. He took me to and from the airport when i flew home at christmas. THe thing i really appreciated was he originally wasn't coming home the day that i flew back, but a day earlier. He was worried about me getting home though, and so he requested an extra day off work so that i would have a ride home. On top of that he wouldn't let me pay him gas money. And thats just the big things. he's done A LOT of little things for me.
Justin. I Love Justin. He has become an older brother to me. He is very very very good at listening to me and probably knows more about me than anyone else in Logan. I'm so happy that we got to know each other better over the summer. He spoiled me last semester. I would go over there a lot because i was having a bad day or stressed and I just needed to do something for someone else. (he caught on fast that this is how i work. If i'm stressed, i'll cook for you) It got to the point I'd ask if he'd eaten and if i could come make dinner for him and roommates. (he is much more likely to answer his phone than anyone else in their apartment) and so i would go over and make food for them and then he would go "Mandy, whats going on?" One time i was broke and he tried to take me grocery shopping. For christmas he paid for my accompanist for my juries. But the thing i am most grateful for is the listening ear he gives me. And i try to give it to him in return.
And now onto my chamber boys (as i am lovingly referring to them as.) Jordan and Spencer. Jordan and Spencer make me laugh all the time, and they don't know how badly i need it some days. Spencer will give me amazing hugs whenever i want one and both of them have let me use them as pillows before. Spencer also let me use him as a space heater on chamber tour. Mostly I like how i feel like they care about me. Which don't miss read what i'm trying to say. I mean in little things. We were walking home from chamber tour (it was snowing and we were all pulling luggage and i said if they would walk home with me i would give them both rides to their apartments) well we came across a REALLY big puddle (keep in mind it was wet snow falling, i was carrying luggage and i was in heels...i'm not always the brightest crayon in the tool shed.)So we came to big puddle, Jordan turned around and grabbed my suitcase for me so that i could make it across the puddle easier. We are almost to my building and i finally slipped on my heels (the snow was sticking to the bottom and so i had about 2 inches of snow on teh bottom of my shoe, not easy to balance) I laughed as i went down, as did they, but they instantly were making sure i was ok and not hurt. and it was the way they were saying it and i can't really describe it. but i love having their friendships.
In addition to Jordan and spencer there is brad and adam, who mostly just make me laugh and let me joke around with them. and this week i've really just needed people to laugh with.
Those are the amazing guy friends in my life. and there are actually more than this, but i could never possibly hope to right about all of them. I just can't believe how blessed i am. And i have said many many prayers of thanks for being lucky enough to ALWAYS have AMAZING guy friends in my life. They teach me and make me laugh. and I still can't believe how lucky I am to have them all. And it will be a sad day indeed (but also very joyous for i will be happy for them) when i have to give them up to their wives someday. And i hope those girls, whoever they are, realize how lucky they are.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
week long run away.
Saturday, get off work and head to Kelsies, spend weekend there. Sunday help her teach the five year old primary class. Monday she drops me off at Mikes and we get ready to head out to St. George for a week of camping.
so lets start with Monday.
Like i said, i get up early and we head out to Mikes where a group of us is meeting up to head down to St. George. Me and Kelsie are the first ones there. (she isn't going with us she was just giving me a ride) We get there and I start getting my stuff out of her trunk and Mikes mom (who is a very nice lady) comes out and tells us that she has taco soup inside for all of us and Kelsie is more than welcome (as in she IS staying) to have some as well. So we walk in the door and immediatly know where Mike is (there was electric guitar sounds coming from downstairs) So we start dishing up soup and Mikes mom gets her husband and gets Mike and we start eating lunch. After that we play about 3 songs of "just dance" on the wii when Kelsie is able to make her escape. (she needed to drive back up to Layton) So me and Mike play a couple rounds of Mario Kart when he gets a phone call from Kylie and the rest of everyone is (besides 2 people we are meeting in Lehi) almost there. So they get there and we start loading up the van (mikes parents are letting us borrow it) and then they all start eating, well Mikes mom also had gotten stuff so we could have lunches when we get down there. So I help her make sandwhiches while everyone else is eating taco soup. Then we finally are ready and head out.
We meet up with joe and Andrew and everyone has figured out which car they are in, everything is loaded and we head south toward the warmth. In the mini van is Me, Mike, Chris and Rylee....and nine peoples worth of camping stuff. Chris and Rylee are sleeping and me and Mike chat and listen to music. Although the further south we go the more we still see snow, which was very depressing. It was also raining a lot out side and slushing in a couple parts of life. But when we get to Quail creek it had stopped raining. So we set up camp, start playing and then make a Wally world run so we can get lunches and breakfasts. Then back to camp to make dinners (we were making dinners together and lunches and breakfasts on our own) Monday night we had spaghetti and by the time it was ready it was dark outside. ALSO, one thing i learned on this trip...you really can't roast a marshmallow peep, it really doesn't work out well.
Then we attempted to play games in the boy tents, but it really didn't work out. So we all headed to bed.
sleeping at night was FREEZING COLD!!!!! Monday night was the coldest night and it was freezing.
Tuesday morning i was the second one up and i got up to the sunrise which was gorgeous. Mike was the one up before me. So me and him chat for a little while and everyone else starts waking up about an hour - 2 hours later. than we all eat breakfast and pack up to head to Zions. Well...Kristi was taking some trash the dumpster and we decided to grab it from her while we were in the van. So i roll down the window and grab it...The window didn't roll back up. The switch had broken. So instead of going straight to Zions, we hang out at a church building while Mike goes and gets the van fixed. Then we drive to Zions, just outside we pull into another church parking lot and all pile into the mini van (with 2 people in the trunk) and head into Zions. (we didn't want to pay for 2 cars and the gas for 2 cars around Zions) We took it easy that day because we got started later in the day. We hiked up to Canyon overlook and the view was incredible. I took some pictures, we ate lunches and the climbed and scampered around for the next few hours. And I got higher than i ever thought that I could. AND managed to get back down in one piece. Then we headed back to camp and start chili.
I don't actually like chili...so i ate one of my lunches and everyone felt bad. but i didn't really care. We roasted marshamallows and chatted around the fire then Mike came into our tent when the fire was going out and we all chatted for awhile. When he was starting to fall asleep he went back to the boys tent and so did chris, Megan came back to ours. and we all fell asleep. (real quick, everyone on this trip is Me, Mike, Chris, Rylee, Kristi, kylie, Megan , Joe, and Andrew)
Tuesday night was also a very very cold night.
Wednesday morning I'm the first one awake. And i go sit on the dock for awhile. Then there was the great debate. Do we go back to Zions or just play around the campsite. We decided both. Those who wanted to stay stayed and those who wanted to go Hike went and hiked. So me, Mike, Chris, Rylee and Kylie go to Zions. We hiked emerald pools, found a cave, and hiked weepeing rock. We stopped at some gift shops and Chris bought an ostrich egg. (some guy outside Zions raises ostriches) We get back to camp and i'm wiped out ( i really hadn't slept well for like four days) and my back was really really hurting. (and only got worse as the night went on) We have dutch oven for dinner, which was great fun and way good. And then we all end up in the girls tent to play scum. (except me. My back was hurting so much that i couldn't really sit up anymore, it didn't want to support me. And i knew lying down i would be in and out of sleeping. So i didn't play)
Wednesday night was less cold and i switched mny sleeping postition so that all of us had more room.
Thursday was Angels landing.
I got up before everyone again and watched teh sunrise (i took a picture of the sunrise everyday) we made lunches and we headed out to Zions to Hike Angels Landing. I was determined to make it to the top this year. Basically how angels landing works is you Hike walters Wiggles 2 miles up to the base of angels landing (a series of switchbacks that are a royal pain in the butt to hike up) Then you have Angels Landing; where you have chains, cliff, 3000ft drop. Probably not the brightest idea in the world to hike up it. But we did it anyway. So i tell everyone not to wait for me, i'll get there eventually. (which was good that no one waited for me, because i don't think i would have made it up. I would have quit and been angry at myself for another year. So i go, and there were spots i wanted to quit and go back, but i managed to pull myself together and always a kind stranger would come along and help at the spots where i really just couldn't figure it out. As I'm almost to the top i see everyone else in my group coming back down. That was actually the hardest part for me, i didn't tell any of them this. But i really just wanted to be in the group picture on top of Angels Landing, but by the time i got there they had turned back. So i hurry up to the very top, look out take a picture by myself and head back down. Up there for less than five minutes. And everyone was ahead of me, and they had my lunch. They had all eaten by the time i got there. I thought that they were going to wait at the base of Angels. But by the time i got there they had headed back down to the car. So they were all about 2 miles ahead of me.
i don't think i'll probably ever do Angels Landing again. I've made it to the top now and it pretty much got the rest of my nerves. Plus (mom, don't yell at me) there was a bunch of snow near the top that was actually kinda slick and slightly terrifying to go up. Especially at the one spot where there was no chains, only rocks and some trees. And anytime of the year that i could make it there will probably be snow at the top, i don't think i could handle the heat of hiking it any other time of year.
Then we get back to camp and eat hot dogs for dinner and play scum again. Chat for awhile and head to bed.
Thursday night was the warmest night, but i kept getting kicked, so i really didn't sleep well.
Friday we get up and load up camp. Then play for a couple hours before heading home. We stop in Cedar for lunch so i can see Kim and meet her boyfriend. So far i like him, but i don't give approvals out as fast as i use to. Then the long drive back to Sandy where Mikes mom had dinner waiting for us. Then to Salt Lake to get Chris's car and then back to Logan. Where i was very excited to take a shower and sleep in my own bed. There is something very wonderful about the shower after a week of camping.
And that was basically the highlights of my spring break. I learned a lot of things this week. About myself and about people i was with.
I learned that I'm faster, stronger, and more fearless than i was last year. I am slowly starting to improve on everything. Am I where i want to be, oh no. But i could climb around a mountain without freaking out and wishing that i had help every step of the way. I handled myself.
I also wish that i could go camping much more often. I LOVE CAMPING!!! its such a great escape and its great fun. Its hard work, but somehow its relaxing. Plus you have some of the greatest conversations around campfires.
That was how I spent spring break this year, and now of course i have done no homework this week, but it was nice to run away for awhile.
so lets start with Monday.
Like i said, i get up early and we head out to Mikes where a group of us is meeting up to head down to St. George. Me and Kelsie are the first ones there. (she isn't going with us she was just giving me a ride) We get there and I start getting my stuff out of her trunk and Mikes mom (who is a very nice lady) comes out and tells us that she has taco soup inside for all of us and Kelsie is more than welcome (as in she IS staying) to have some as well. So we walk in the door and immediatly know where Mike is (there was electric guitar sounds coming from downstairs) So we start dishing up soup and Mikes mom gets her husband and gets Mike and we start eating lunch. After that we play about 3 songs of "just dance" on the wii when Kelsie is able to make her escape. (she needed to drive back up to Layton) So me and Mike play a couple rounds of Mario Kart when he gets a phone call from Kylie and the rest of everyone is (besides 2 people we are meeting in Lehi) almost there. So they get there and we start loading up the van (mikes parents are letting us borrow it) and then they all start eating, well Mikes mom also had gotten stuff so we could have lunches when we get down there. So I help her make sandwhiches while everyone else is eating taco soup. Then we finally are ready and head out.
We meet up with joe and Andrew and everyone has figured out which car they are in, everything is loaded and we head south toward the warmth. In the mini van is Me, Mike, Chris and Rylee....and nine peoples worth of camping stuff. Chris and Rylee are sleeping and me and Mike chat and listen to music. Although the further south we go the more we still see snow, which was very depressing. It was also raining a lot out side and slushing in a couple parts of life. But when we get to Quail creek it had stopped raining. So we set up camp, start playing and then make a Wally world run so we can get lunches and breakfasts. Then back to camp to make dinners (we were making dinners together and lunches and breakfasts on our own) Monday night we had spaghetti and by the time it was ready it was dark outside. ALSO, one thing i learned on this trip...you really can't roast a marshmallow peep, it really doesn't work out well.
Then we attempted to play games in the boy tents, but it really didn't work out. So we all headed to bed.
sleeping at night was FREEZING COLD!!!!! Monday night was the coldest night and it was freezing.
Tuesday morning i was the second one up and i got up to the sunrise which was gorgeous. Mike was the one up before me. So me and him chat for a little while and everyone else starts waking up about an hour - 2 hours later. than we all eat breakfast and pack up to head to Zions. Well...Kristi was taking some trash the dumpster and we decided to grab it from her while we were in the van. So i roll down the window and grab it...The window didn't roll back up. The switch had broken. So instead of going straight to Zions, we hang out at a church building while Mike goes and gets the van fixed. Then we drive to Zions, just outside we pull into another church parking lot and all pile into the mini van (with 2 people in the trunk) and head into Zions. (we didn't want to pay for 2 cars and the gas for 2 cars around Zions) We took it easy that day because we got started later in the day. We hiked up to Canyon overlook and the view was incredible. I took some pictures, we ate lunches and the climbed and scampered around for the next few hours. And I got higher than i ever thought that I could. AND managed to get back down in one piece. Then we headed back to camp and start chili.
I don't actually like chili...so i ate one of my lunches and everyone felt bad. but i didn't really care. We roasted marshamallows and chatted around the fire then Mike came into our tent when the fire was going out and we all chatted for awhile. When he was starting to fall asleep he went back to the boys tent and so did chris, Megan came back to ours. and we all fell asleep. (real quick, everyone on this trip is Me, Mike, Chris, Rylee, Kristi, kylie, Megan , Joe, and Andrew)
Tuesday night was also a very very cold night.
Wednesday morning I'm the first one awake. And i go sit on the dock for awhile. Then there was the great debate. Do we go back to Zions or just play around the campsite. We decided both. Those who wanted to stay stayed and those who wanted to go Hike went and hiked. So me, Mike, Chris, Rylee and Kylie go to Zions. We hiked emerald pools, found a cave, and hiked weepeing rock. We stopped at some gift shops and Chris bought an ostrich egg. (some guy outside Zions raises ostriches) We get back to camp and i'm wiped out ( i really hadn't slept well for like four days) and my back was really really hurting. (and only got worse as the night went on) We have dutch oven for dinner, which was great fun and way good. And then we all end up in the girls tent to play scum. (except me. My back was hurting so much that i couldn't really sit up anymore, it didn't want to support me. And i knew lying down i would be in and out of sleeping. So i didn't play)
Wednesday night was less cold and i switched mny sleeping postition so that all of us had more room.
Thursday was Angels landing.
I got up before everyone again and watched teh sunrise (i took a picture of the sunrise everyday) we made lunches and we headed out to Zions to Hike Angels Landing. I was determined to make it to the top this year. Basically how angels landing works is you Hike walters Wiggles 2 miles up to the base of angels landing (a series of switchbacks that are a royal pain in the butt to hike up) Then you have Angels Landing; where you have chains, cliff, 3000ft drop. Probably not the brightest idea in the world to hike up it. But we did it anyway. So i tell everyone not to wait for me, i'll get there eventually. (which was good that no one waited for me, because i don't think i would have made it up. I would have quit and been angry at myself for another year. So i go, and there were spots i wanted to quit and go back, but i managed to pull myself together and always a kind stranger would come along and help at the spots where i really just couldn't figure it out. As I'm almost to the top i see everyone else in my group coming back down. That was actually the hardest part for me, i didn't tell any of them this. But i really just wanted to be in the group picture on top of Angels Landing, but by the time i got there they had turned back. So i hurry up to the very top, look out take a picture by myself and head back down. Up there for less than five minutes. And everyone was ahead of me, and they had my lunch. They had all eaten by the time i got there. I thought that they were going to wait at the base of Angels. But by the time i got there they had headed back down to the car. So they were all about 2 miles ahead of me.
i don't think i'll probably ever do Angels Landing again. I've made it to the top now and it pretty much got the rest of my nerves. Plus (mom, don't yell at me) there was a bunch of snow near the top that was actually kinda slick and slightly terrifying to go up. Especially at the one spot where there was no chains, only rocks and some trees. And anytime of the year that i could make it there will probably be snow at the top, i don't think i could handle the heat of hiking it any other time of year.
Then we get back to camp and eat hot dogs for dinner and play scum again. Chat for awhile and head to bed.
Thursday night was the warmest night, but i kept getting kicked, so i really didn't sleep well.
Friday we get up and load up camp. Then play for a couple hours before heading home. We stop in Cedar for lunch so i can see Kim and meet her boyfriend. So far i like him, but i don't give approvals out as fast as i use to. Then the long drive back to Sandy where Mikes mom had dinner waiting for us. Then to Salt Lake to get Chris's car and then back to Logan. Where i was very excited to take a shower and sleep in my own bed. There is something very wonderful about the shower after a week of camping.
And that was basically the highlights of my spring break. I learned a lot of things this week. About myself and about people i was with.
I learned that I'm faster, stronger, and more fearless than i was last year. I am slowly starting to improve on everything. Am I where i want to be, oh no. But i could climb around a mountain without freaking out and wishing that i had help every step of the way. I handled myself.
I also wish that i could go camping much more often. I LOVE CAMPING!!! its such a great escape and its great fun. Its hard work, but somehow its relaxing. Plus you have some of the greatest conversations around campfires.
That was how I spent spring break this year, and now of course i have done no homework this week, but it was nice to run away for awhile.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
The little Mazda that could
Tithing and prayers.
ALWAYS PAY YOUR TITHING!!! ALWAYS SAY YOUR PRAYERS!!!! that is how my car is still running.
For those of you who don't know my car, i have a little white '98 mazda proteg'e named Shakespeare Bon Jovi. It is named such because it is old, it's white, its still around and its Living on a prayer.
literally... my car is living on prayers and tithing. Although it is still trying to die and i just keep not letting it. So my wipers have decided that they don't want to work at all anymore. My battery is dead. (i got it tested) and yet my car still starts. I have a leak in my tranny. I need to get my breaks checked. And i can't actually have the heater or de-froster going while the car is stopped.
I honestly wouldn't trust driving my car to salt lake anymore.
But somehow it keeps going. And lasts a little longer than anyone is expecting it too.
Its just adding to my testimony of tithing, prayers AND of acquiring knowledge. The only reason i've managed to keep it alive this long is because of what little knowledge i was able to learn from Nelson before he went on his mission. So i always know when there is a new thing going wrong, because i can tell that something is different. Now don't make the mistake of thinking that i actually know anything about cars, i really don't. Someday i will, but today is not that day. I mostly just know when something isn't normal and i can guess kinda whats going on with it.
But all that aside, my car really shouldn't be running anymore. Thats where the other blessings come in. I found out i have a kid i work with who is a part time mechanic. Another girl i work with's dad owns a mechanic shop or something and said he would take a look at my car for free. AND i have a guy in the bishopric who is kinda a big deal with o'reily auto parts and knows about cars who thinks he can fix my wipers for me.
So basically, my car defies all laws of something i'm sure. It should be dead, and its a pain to drive. But i'm still grateful for him everyday that I am driving him or i have a friend who needs a lift around Logan.
But in all honesty i love my car, i hate that its become unreliable and that i don't have the money to fix everything that needs to be fixed. But al the little quirks my car has gives it something.
my car has character.
So i can't actually unlock the passenger door from outside. But its not like i ever get in that side anyway. I have to turn off any heating or air conditioning at any stop sign or red light or else my belt starts squealing like a banshee. I can't really listened to burned CD's in my car. If i do i can't change the song or else it goes back to the beginning of the CD, if it will play it at all. It makes very distinct rattling noises every time i turn it on, and they change around a little bit when i'm going faster or slowed down. People who ride in my car get very concerned when i first turn it on. But i know what its suppose to sound like, so if i'm not yelling at it or looked don't worry, the car will stay in one piece. I have rust growing around pretty much every edge anymore, and if you get under the car not only is it incredibly dirty, but it is rusting away under there too. I have stains here and there all over, it really needs a deep deep cleaning. (but i don't clean it in the winter, its to cold.) i'm pretty sure something in the trunk broke from the Jack stands falling over. (just cracked it or something) (yes, i keep jack stands in my trunk, but they may get moved soon, to my closet or something) And basically the only reason i don't let people borrow my car, but i'll give you a ride is not because i don't trust you to drive my car. I don't trust my car to be driven.
But its MY car. He'll work for me, and lets be honest, it is NOT a car that you want to break into (which is actually very very very hard to do. I locked my keys in once. My cars is fortress) But its also my space.
More than once Shakespeare has been my get away car. When i'm angry or sad and just need to run away for a little bit, Shakespeare has never let me down. I can't count the number of times i have completely broken down into tears in that car (we've been together for around three years. Three years full of lots and lots of change) He never gives me trouble when i'm having a melt down. He's been there for me when i've needed to give others rides and when i've needed to chase down friends because they were walking in the dark. He also has made it so I've never had to walk in the dark. He actually has a very nice back seat that i've taken quick cat naps in when i had time to kill, but didn't want to drive back home just to come back somewhere. And he keeps me on my toes; just from having him as my car i'll probably be able to extend the life of future cars beyond what people think they should be.
That is Shakespeare. He's kinda like me. Is entirely out of his element. A lot of other people would have given up on him by now, especially if they had other options. Really not the classiest or prettiest thing to look at. Is not in anyway, shape or form the fastest. But he keeps plugging along. All his dents and rust flakes is what make him unique. And to know him is to love him. And I highly doubt that anyone will ever actually love Shakespeare the way i do. And as badly as i really could use a new car, i will be very sad the day that Shakespeare is no longer my chariot.
ALWAYS PAY YOUR TITHING!!! ALWAYS SAY YOUR PRAYERS!!!! that is how my car is still running.
For those of you who don't know my car, i have a little white '98 mazda proteg'e named Shakespeare Bon Jovi. It is named such because it is old, it's white, its still around and its Living on a prayer.
literally... my car is living on prayers and tithing. Although it is still trying to die and i just keep not letting it. So my wipers have decided that they don't want to work at all anymore. My battery is dead. (i got it tested) and yet my car still starts. I have a leak in my tranny. I need to get my breaks checked. And i can't actually have the heater or de-froster going while the car is stopped.
I honestly wouldn't trust driving my car to salt lake anymore.
But somehow it keeps going. And lasts a little longer than anyone is expecting it too.
Its just adding to my testimony of tithing, prayers AND of acquiring knowledge. The only reason i've managed to keep it alive this long is because of what little knowledge i was able to learn from Nelson before he went on his mission. So i always know when there is a new thing going wrong, because i can tell that something is different. Now don't make the mistake of thinking that i actually know anything about cars, i really don't. Someday i will, but today is not that day. I mostly just know when something isn't normal and i can guess kinda whats going on with it.
But all that aside, my car really shouldn't be running anymore. Thats where the other blessings come in. I found out i have a kid i work with who is a part time mechanic. Another girl i work with's dad owns a mechanic shop or something and said he would take a look at my car for free. AND i have a guy in the bishopric who is kinda a big deal with o'reily auto parts and knows about cars who thinks he can fix my wipers for me.
So basically, my car defies all laws of something i'm sure. It should be dead, and its a pain to drive. But i'm still grateful for him everyday that I am driving him or i have a friend who needs a lift around Logan.
But in all honesty i love my car, i hate that its become unreliable and that i don't have the money to fix everything that needs to be fixed. But al the little quirks my car has gives it something.
my car has character.
So i can't actually unlock the passenger door from outside. But its not like i ever get in that side anyway. I have to turn off any heating or air conditioning at any stop sign or red light or else my belt starts squealing like a banshee. I can't really listened to burned CD's in my car. If i do i can't change the song or else it goes back to the beginning of the CD, if it will play it at all. It makes very distinct rattling noises every time i turn it on, and they change around a little bit when i'm going faster or slowed down. People who ride in my car get very concerned when i first turn it on. But i know what its suppose to sound like, so if i'm not yelling at it or looked don't worry, the car will stay in one piece. I have rust growing around pretty much every edge anymore, and if you get under the car not only is it incredibly dirty, but it is rusting away under there too. I have stains here and there all over, it really needs a deep deep cleaning. (but i don't clean it in the winter, its to cold.) i'm pretty sure something in the trunk broke from the Jack stands falling over. (just cracked it or something) (yes, i keep jack stands in my trunk, but they may get moved soon, to my closet or something) And basically the only reason i don't let people borrow my car, but i'll give you a ride is not because i don't trust you to drive my car. I don't trust my car to be driven.
But its MY car. He'll work for me, and lets be honest, it is NOT a car that you want to break into (which is actually very very very hard to do. I locked my keys in once. My cars is fortress) But its also my space.
More than once Shakespeare has been my get away car. When i'm angry or sad and just need to run away for a little bit, Shakespeare has never let me down. I can't count the number of times i have completely broken down into tears in that car (we've been together for around three years. Three years full of lots and lots of change) He never gives me trouble when i'm having a melt down. He's been there for me when i've needed to give others rides and when i've needed to chase down friends because they were walking in the dark. He also has made it so I've never had to walk in the dark. He actually has a very nice back seat that i've taken quick cat naps in when i had time to kill, but didn't want to drive back home just to come back somewhere. And he keeps me on my toes; just from having him as my car i'll probably be able to extend the life of future cars beyond what people think they should be.
That is Shakespeare. He's kinda like me. Is entirely out of his element. A lot of other people would have given up on him by now, especially if they had other options. Really not the classiest or prettiest thing to look at. Is not in anyway, shape or form the fastest. But he keeps plugging along. All his dents and rust flakes is what make him unique. And to know him is to love him. And I highly doubt that anyone will ever actually love Shakespeare the way i do. And as badly as i really could use a new car, i will be very sad the day that Shakespeare is no longer my chariot.
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