2013. The worst of times, the best of times.

Well, 2013 has come and gone.

The beginning of this year was literally the hardest part of my life so far. I am not joking in the slightest when I say that I am lucky that I made it out alive. I wish I was joking.

I was not the most mentally stable person by the time the beginning of this year came around. I was fighting some pretty hard battles, the kind that other people don't really see. There were still happy times that would kind of show up in there, but the first about 6 months of this year were the darkest times of my life, March and April being the darkest.

Thankfully, through some very dear friends, I had enough to hold on until the light got brighter. And then I had even more dear friends who helped lift the dark cloud higher.

So instead of focusing on the really crappy part of my year, I want to focus on the things that I am grateful for and the things that I learned.

I would like to thank my dear friend who literally saved my life last year with a few kind words. He was there when I needed someone, even though he had no free time. His words were simple, but very sincere. It was enough to pull me out of the dark enough that I could keep going one more day. One more day was all I needed. It was the first step.

I learned that I have more faith than I thought I did. I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'm no where near it. I have a lot of improving to do. Things that I thought I had known I was barely believing. But I still believed it. I never let go of the faith that I had a loving Heavenly Father who cares about me and loves me. Even if I couldn't feel it. I never stopped knowing that he was there. I know he is real, I know he is listening, I know he loves me. I am so grateful that I could never let go of that.

I learned that I cannot work at a livery when it is over a hundred degrees outside, because no matter what I try, I will get heat exhaustion and hate life.

I learned a bunch of pioneer songs on the guitar.

I learned that I absolutely love the book and movie "Perks of being a wallflower"

I learned that I still may have a writing bone in my body. I've been wanting to start new projects again.

I am thankful for the friend who asked me to a Pioneer Ball so that I didn't have to go alone.

I'm thankful for my friend who is teaching me to tool leather. I'm thankful for karaoke night. I love karaoke, mostly because of the company I go with. I am beyond thankful for the dear friends I have grown close to in the last few months. There are not words to express how wonderful they are and how much they have done for me. And they aren't even aware of it. They have accepted me as I am, and not all of them are aware that I am fighting old ghosts, but I feel like I can face them because I know I have these friends around me. I wish I could express to them how grateful I am. But the words do not exist.

This will sound shallow, but I'm thankful for my friend who takes me on dates. We are not exclusive, but for the first time in my life I have someone I am dating. Not a boyfriend. Not exclusive. Just dates. But he treats me so well, and makes me feel like I am worth his time. I've never known what that feels like.

I've learned that people change. For better and for worse. We are not stone creatures. We are constantly changing. And that's good. It's just sad when we change for the worse.

Well, there is a recap of this year. It wasn't boring. but it sure did end on a good note. Here's to 2014, another year of adventures.