Trophys

So, I just read an article on huffington post about how no one should have to put up with or accept us at our worst, we should learn to fix our worst. I agreed with that part of the article, to a degree. We all have bad days, and on those days we need acceptance, however if you are a pain and selfish all the time, then you need to work on that.

(If you want to read it, here is the link. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/matt-walsh/if-i-cant-accept-you-at-y_b_4673582.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false )

But that is not what this post is about.

I want to talk about trophy's. This guy really ripped on how when we give everyone the "pity trophy" there are only one of two outcomes going to happen. That kid will realize it's the pit trophy and hate it, OR they will think "yeah, I am cool." and get an inflated ego from earning a trophy.

I am here to tell you I am the third kind of person. (and I am sure that there are also 4th, 5th, and 6th persons as well)

I played soccer for 5 years growing up (shocker, I know), and at the end of every season I got my PARTICIPATION trophy. I had accomplished something over each season. I was part of a team. I was learning a sport. I was learning how to work with others. I was learning how to accept defeat. I was learning how to graciously win. I was getting physical exercise. I was playing. I was making friends. I scored goals. I blocked goals. I tripped and fell. I lost the ball. I was learning many valuable lessons. And for all of this, and making it through the season, I was given a trophy.

I knew that everyone was getting it, I wasn't stupid. But I saw it as my reward for making it through the season. It was something to keep and remember the things I learned. It was proof that I could make it through an entire summer season of a sport. I knew it wasn't for anything outstanding I had done. BUT that silly award ceremony we would have was one more lesson in being gracious and grateful.

Plus it was usually hosted at this local pizza place that I loved, which is never a bad thing.

Basically, While I agree that we are starting to go over board on "emotional bubble wrap". I find nothing wrong with everyone getting a participation trophy, because when you are a child, sticking through an entire season is hard. Learning to play nicely is hard. And you have earned having something to remember it by. I still have and love all (i think) 7 of my trophy's and 1 medal from my years of playing soccer.

Since then, I have lost track of all the times I have "lost." When I was kicked out of my program. When I have been passed over for jobs. When I didn't get the boy that I wanted. I had already learned at a young age that you don't always win, and it's not the end of the world. You just try again the next game. Want to know something else these trophy's taught me? How much more I appreciated the "wins" I did earn. When I earned a medal for second at state in One-Acts, that medal was a big deal to me. When I received outstanding performer, I knew it was a big deal, because not everyone got one. When my one-act was one of four selected to be performed out of over 50 entries, it was a big deal.

And want to know what else? By this point I had learned to be a gracious winner. So when I received these honors, I wasn't going around saying "Well of course I won, I am just that good." Instead, I was saying "What an honor. Thank you so much for this. I hope I can continue to improve and become better because of this." I turned these into motivation to become excellent at something, so that I was deserving of whatever award I had been given.

Maybe that is what we should be teaching our kids, these trophy's that we give to everyone, it is to show that you have learned something, and you PARTICIPATED. These Valentines that we require you to give everyone? It's so we can teach you how to be kind to everyone. If there is something that we should focus on teaching our children, it is that other people are out there. Other people matter. Everyone IS special, because no one is just like everyone else, and EVERYONE has the POTENTIAL to become excellent. But it must be earned.

Just like I earned those participation trophy's.