No more

"No more questions. No more tests. Comes the day you say 'what for?' Please. no more."

I'm so tired of all the questions that I am trying to answer. I'm sick of the tests i'm going through. I know that the Lord won't give me more than I can handle. But I feel like I'm sinking.

"They disappoint. They disappear. They die. But they don't..."

my emotions are full of disappointment. then I get them under control. Then they disappear. I feel like they are gone. But then they come back. They don't die.

"No more feelings. Time to shut the door. Just no more."

I just don't want emotions anymore. They just get in the way of life. They are a pain. They don't do any good anymore. They just make you hurt. All I've wanted to do is run away. Somewhere I don't hurt anymore.

"Running away- lets do it. Free from the ties that bind. No more despair or burdens to bear out there in the yonder."

That's what the dream feels like.

"Running away- go to it. Where did you have in mind? Have to take care, unless there's a where, you'll only be wandering blind. Just more questions. different kinds."

That's what stops me. Where would I run? What would I do when I get there? I can't make life work here, why would I be able to somewhere I don't know anyone?

"Where are we to go? Where are we ever to go?"

The only place where things make sense. The Temple. Institute. Church. No matter how hard it gets. There is always somewhere I can turn for peace. It'll be okay.

(lyrics from the song 'No more' from the musical "Into the Woods".)