Numb

I apologize for yesterday's post.

I have this weird thing where sometimes i guess i must know something bad is coming, because my body will start trying to defend itself and i start feeling numb to all feelings. which usually makes me kind of emo.

last night i got a phone call that a family friend had been killed in a horse accident. (my moms best friend's husband. i know that makes it sound distant. but i lived with them for a week when i was 10)

then when i got the news i was even more numb. i didn't even know how to react. i guess i still don't. i'm still just kind of numb...but with a headache now.

this is going to come out terrible, but please no one any closer to me die. i can't handle it.

i love all my friends and family. even though i'm not good at showing it.

just know that.